Elderly Hoon Carts

With every breath we take, and every step we make, our society is becoming older; there are more elderly people in the world now than there have ever been before. So it must be said, that we should listen to our elders once in a while as there are more of them about, at least for the moment.

We should also be very respectful to the elderly, as they have more than likely suffered more than we have in our short and easy layabout lives. We know that they suffered and put up with many things that we wouldn’t be able to.

The reason we know they have suffered more in their lives than we have in ours, is because they tell us so, and they repeat their stories on such a regular basis that we relive them in our sleep. Many of us still wake up screaming in the middle of the night, and some of us want to know why the Channel 7 chopper chills us to our feet.

We have been told on so many occasions of how they lived in scrappy two bedroom homes, with their five brothers and sisters, their cousins, and their grandparents, and how can we not forget their pet pig. The very same pet pig which turned out to be a rather pleasant meal one Christmas, for all who lived under that roof.

They lived through tough times, and they survived the lean times. They survived wars, famine, and a depression. They lived through the heady days of Rock & Roll, which included the Rolling Stones, The Beatles, Jimmy Hendrix, and lots more bands, who incidentally, are old folk now. They have also forgotten the flower power years and the many sleepless days and nights of LSD, Speed and Opium.

So then when all is said and done, there must be an advantage of getting older, you get respect from the young, you are allowed to chew with your mouth open and dribble down your chin, and you can go through the 8 items or less checkout with 10 or 12 items and not care about anyone else.

The other huge advantage of getting old is that you can hoon around in one of those motorised buggies and harass the young people who hang around the shopping malls. These vehicles should be banned from all populated areas and should be restricted to the elderly who can actually drive, or in some cases, can actually see.

The young people of the world need a licence to drive a motor vehicle, so why shouldn’t the old farts of this world need a licence to race around in their hoon buggies? We, the young generation demand a fair go. Actually what we really want is to be able to drive around in those buggies and annoy whoever we can ourselves.

I wonder if this is the real reason why so many people take up golf, so that they can race around the greens and fairways in golf carts. Not a hoon buggy, but close enough.


It’s a well-known fact that we, as a society can resist everything but temptation. There are so many objects of desire surrounding us in our daily lives; items that have been created to entice us in eating them, buying them, or just having them, legally, or in some cases, illegally.

We are confronted with so many temptations on such a regular basis, that we find it difficult to say no to the things that we are truly forbidden from having. These forbidden fruits are so tempting that most of us, at one stage of our lives give in to the sheer pleasure of having something that is both, illicit and forbidding.

No matter what we think and say, it’s human nature to want something that we can’t have, or at least shouldn’t have, and in most cases, something we really don’t need. The fact of the matter is, we normally want what we don’t normally need, but we are still tempted.

We are continuously tempted in so many ways, and for such a long time, that we eventually succumb to the temptation.

All we need to do is to go back to the very beginning of time itself, when Adam and Eve innocently wandered around the Garden of Eden, dressed only in their fig leaves.

And these fig leaves were the standard run of the mill fig leaves which had been pulled of an every day fig tree, they were not your designer label fig leaves that most people of today’s society would want. Can you imagine Adam and Eve wandering around the Garden of Eden, and sporting a matching set of Gucci, Chanel, Giorgio Armani, or Ralph Lauren fig leaves?

The young naive couple was tempted with the forbidden apple and they were drawn to the apple tree and its fruits as a bee is drawn to a honey pot; as moths are to a flame, and as dogs are to a fire hydrant.

Although many of these temptations are bad for us in so many ways, we continue to chase them down with a vengeance, as we search high and low for these forbidden fruits to satisfy our carnal desires. We go out of our way to ensure that we get what we want, at any price.

This is the very same within all the major department stores around this great money sucking country of ours. The marketing departments of all these stores, and every single one of their devious employees exploit the one major weakness that all women have. The bargain trolley.

They set up this woman magnet, filled with cheap, broken and mostly useless items in the most obvious places. Management knows that these items will be sold easily enough and will fleece bargain hunters. All women out there know a bargain when they see one; even if they don’t need the item, it’s still a bargain. This cheap and brash purchase, will more than likely sell quickly, and even cheaper at the next garage sale.

What I don’t understand as a mere male, is that if a pair of boots costs $220.00, and a woman manages to buy them for $170.00, she has saved money. I know my mathematics isn’t one of my best skills, but I am certain I would have $170.00 if she had not purchased them in the first place.

To end off an argument I know I have no way of winning, I can only summarise with this – It has been said on so many occasions, one man’s trash is another man’s treasure. It’s a real pity that most of the trash has been purchased by the woman of the house.



Real men don’t eat quiche, and boys don’t cry.

Real men don’t eat quiche, and boys don’t cry.

I call bullshit to both of those statements.

There are times in our lives we need to let go of something that is either embedded somewhere in our minds, or in our bodies. It can be a simple thing as a build-up of mixed emotions that have been festering deep inside of us for longer than we know, or sometimes, even care to remember.

That tiny mole hill finally erupts with a force that we never knew existed in ourselves, and turns into a mountain as high as Mount Everest. But it may not need Sir Edmund Hillary to conquer it. In most cases, all it needs is communication, a sympathetic ear that is willing to listen, and perhaps, just perhaps, a shoulder to cry on, as the emotions finally break free of their shackles.

For some people, just the thought of expressing their true inner feelings is enough to send them over the edge and force them to hastily retreat to the warmth of a safe cacoon, or if that is not readily available, the sanctuary of a bed, and a set of heavy covers. But that doesn’t need to be the case,

The first step is to understand we are all human, and we all have different feelings and a very different way of showing and expressing them, but they are there to be shared, at least with the people who are close and care for us. And those people will be there when we need them, of that I am certain.

The past four weeks have been a roller coaster of very mixed emotions with more lows, than highs, and there will be many more of each as I continue on the road to recovery. I know there will be family and friends around who have that sympathetic ear to listen to my fears, and my joys as I head back to full health, and that shoulder to cry on, when the time finally comes for the tears to fall freely.

As for eating quiche, I prefer mine cold and served with a tomato and green salad, minus the raw onions.


Why do bad things happen to good people

There is a saying. ‘Why do bad things happen to good people.’

This was certainly the case when I met an elderly lady in hospital a short while ago. She is 80ish and had a bad fall, breaking her neck and ending up with a full neck brace she would have to wear for up to 12 weeks.

She is one of those elderly ladies that refuses to admit her age and won’t use a walking frame or a walking stick, much to the disappointment of her daughters and her husband. I’m sure her daughters would have pimped up her walking frame, had she asked.

So as she waited to be released from hospital, sitting in her chair and dressed rather smartly, the time slowly ticked by, but still no sign of a doctor to authorise her release forms. And with every passing minute, her husband became more agitated and demanded to know why such a long delay.

The nurse did all she could to settle the family, but the way it was going, the husband was about to blow a gasket, and would have ended up in a hospital bed with a stroke. He had already suffered a stroke, and another one might have been his last.

After a much longer wait, a young doctor arrived, clipboard under his arm and looking very official.

By this point, the husband had obviously reached his limit and was about to give him a serve, and then the doctor began to explain the reason for the long delay.

It was a standard procedure to do a full body scan of patients of her age, for precautionary measures. Pausing for a brief moment, he explained that during the scan, they had discovered a type of cancer in her body.

That certainly took the wind out of the husband’s sails. As he looked at the doctor and back to his wife and family. I was in as much shock as her family.

She took the news in her stride and asked about the next steps as her husband sat there in complete shock. And then asked for the curtains to be closed so she could get back into her nightgown.

Her husband and family left after a while and said they would return another day to pick her up after more tests had been performed.

The fact was, she went into hospital knowing she had one serious problem, and then leaving with another major blow to her overall health made me think how lucky we can be.

When we are handed a second chance to life on a silver platter, we need to make the most of it.

Get out and smell the roses, take in the few rays of sunshine that are still about. Sit and watch the rain fall from the grey skies and see the heavy droplets splatter against the land as they leave their mark.

Tell the people you care about how you feel, as that moment may slip by in a heartbeat and they will never know.

So with Easter a mere bunny hop away, take care of yourselves and the ones who you truly care about. Every day is a blessing.