Never be defined by tragedy. Let it shape you.

When something disastrous happens to us, the very first thing we do is to think, why did this happen to me? What have I done to deserve this?

But in reality, there may have been nothing we could have done to have avoided the situation. Sometimes just being in the wrong place at the wrong time is more than enough for disaster to strike.

So in saying this, I know first hand what it feels like to be in the wrong place at the wrong time. Just because I wasn’t doing the wrong thing. I still came out second best when a car cut in front of me as I cycled down along the peninsula on a morning ride.

Metal crashing against metal is one of the loudest sounds I can recall. Especially when the action was upon me and not in the distance.

Having survived a serious cycling accident involving a car, I was devastated and very much broken. Not just physically, but mentally. And in many ways, emotionally.

In this time of darkness, I could have taken the easy way out and given up and not pushed through the pain and frustration. I could have stayed in bed, feeling very sad and sorry for myself for the situation which had been thrust upon me.

But I didn’t. I suffered through every single day until I was able to get out of bed on my own and then fend for myself once again. One step at a time. Slowly I wandered out of the house and to the end of the driveway. Then to the end of the street. And finally around the block.

I’m back to a point now that I am able to complete 10km run and not suffer all that much the next day. I still hurt, but its it’s a good hurt.

What did happen to me has changed the way in which I see things, and it has shaped my life in a way I didn’t expect. It changed the way I look at things and the people around me. I see good in people where others don’t see the same thing.

I see a sunrise in ways that some people would say its it’s just another morning. The way in which I see a sunset is also very different now than it was back then.

It’s because I am still able to enjoy those simple pleasures that are taken for granted.

I no longer try to take life so serious as all it does is add to the frustrations I already have to put up with on a daily basis as I continue to recover.

The biggest tragedy would have been if I had given up at the beginning, and not continued with my life journey.

My journey had taken a few detours, and there are more ahead. But I’m happy that I have the opportunity to take on the detours that life throws my way.

Darkness

When the sun finally sets in the horizon, we are eventually shrouded in darkness, but there are times in our lives we can also be in the dark when the sun shines and it’s the middle of the day. There is no need for the moon to be out for us to feel as if we are in the dark, or in a dark place.

There will always be a time when we feel as if the walls around us are closing in and the light that’s shining bright is quickly fading, turning into darkness. It is in this situation, we feel as if there is nothing we can do, or no one we can turn to. But thats so very untrue.

There is always a friend close at hand who will drop what they have and stop by for a chat. Even a quick call to a mate is better than sitting in a room as the walls close in and darkness fills every crevice of your mind.

Even though we think we are in full control of our minds most of the time, we all do have a momentary lapse of reason. This may be for an hour, a day, or even a week. But this doesn’t mean we will never be back in control of how we feel and how we see ourselves.

Whilst we are in that dark space, our outlook on life is somewhat skewed and things tend to seem worse than they really are. But once we rise up and see the day of light, our perception changes in an instant.

The hardest part of falling into the darkness is not knowing how long the dark shroud will cloak us, and our minds. Time and friendship is what will help us see the light, and both are freely available to all of us, we just need to look around to see we are truly wanted and loved.

Never give up hope when darkness clouds you.

Shattered dreams and inner strength 


From the time we can remember, our heads are filled with dreams of how our lives will turn out when we get that little bit older and become ‘grown ups’.

Some of us dream of growing up and being a policeman, a doctor, nurse or even a chef. But as we progress in life, our dreams take a different path for one reason or another. From day to day we snake through the jungle of what we call life.


So when we are old enough and entrenched in a full time job, and perhaps not the one we dreamt about in our younger years. We keep going and make the best of what we have. Because it’s what we do. We keep going and don’t give up.

But the thought of giving up on our dreams is something that is easier to do than to keep chasing. The dreams from our childhood or others dreams that have flooded our minds as we have grown up.

And then there comes a time in our lives when something happens and takes away all our dreams in the blink of an eye. An instant that changes us and the very person we are, and all our dreams go up in a puff of smoke. Gone. But not forgotten.


It’s at this point we realise we have choices. Get up of our bums, dust ourselves off and keep chasing our dreams. Or we can let go of what we wanted and quietly fade away into the background of life.


One option is so much easier that the other. But they are exactly that. Options.

I know that getting up and forging forward after a setback, and then another is not as simple as that. It takes strength, inner strength. Not just physical strength to get out of bed every morning. But the mental strength to to know that what we want can’t be achieved alone. And that’s the tough part. Admitting we can’t go it alone.


It’s at this point we need to lean on someone who is there for us and who is willing to break through the mental barrier that is holding us back from achieving our goals. Our happiness.


We’re only human. And we have flaws and failures. And to continue on, we really need to admit to ourselves we need that helping hand.

Let others help when they want. They are the ones who see us when we are down and out. Even when we see a perfect future ahead of us.

Are we afraid to be alone?

With so many ways to stay in touch with people, we are never more than the click of a button or a dial of a number to communicate with a friend, locally or internationally.
But even with so many friends, there are times when we feel so alone. No matter where we are or who is around us. It’s a state of mind.

There is nothing wrong with feeling afraid in times of solitude, it makes us human. And human frailty is what defines us in this world. 

It’s ok to be afraid to be alone. But don’t let that fear stop you from making the most of that time. Sit back, relax and take the time the see what’s really happening in your own little world. You will be surprised at what you discover about yourself, and others.