What makes us happy?


There are times in my life when I have no idea what makes me happy, so I have even less of a clue when it comes to making others happy.

So, does buying a new and updated phone, a new road bike that weighs less than my furry cat or an item of clothing or piece of jewellery put a smile back on my dial and make me happy? And for how long would any of those items keep me happy?


It’s not that I don’t want a new phone that has all the bells and whistles and does everything except make me a cup of coffee every morning. Or picking up a better bike equipped with the best parts that money can buy. A full Shimano Dura-Ace Di2 electronic drivetrain, Aeolus 3 D3 Disc and carbon wheels.


I’m all for that. But in the end, does it bring true happiness? The answer is simple. It doesn’t. At least not for the long term, and that’s the sort of happiness we need in our lives. I know its not only what I need, but it’s what I want.


Although, finding that happiness is like finding a needle in a haystack. We just need to keep trying. 

Shattered dreams and inner strength 


From the time we can remember, our heads are filled with dreams of how our lives will turn out when we get that little bit older and become ‘grown ups’.

Some of us dream of growing up and being a policeman, a doctor, nurse or even a chef. But as we progress in life, our dreams take a different path for one reason or another. From day to day we snake through the jungle of what we call life.


So when we are old enough and entrenched in a full time job, and perhaps not the one we dreamt about in our younger years. We keep going and make the best of what we have. Because it’s what we do. We keep going and don’t give up.

But the thought of giving up on our dreams is something that is easier to do than to keep chasing. The dreams from our childhood or others dreams that have flooded our minds as we have grown up.

And then there comes a time in our lives when something happens and takes away all our dreams in the blink of an eye. An instant that changes us and the very person we are, and all our dreams go up in a puff of smoke. Gone. But not forgotten.


It’s at this point we realise we have choices. Get up of our bums, dust ourselves off and keep chasing our dreams. Or we can let go of what we wanted and quietly fade away into the background of life.


One option is so much easier that the other. But they are exactly that. Options.

I know that getting up and forging forward after a setback, and then another is not as simple as that. It takes strength, inner strength. Not just physical strength to get out of bed every morning. But the mental strength to to know that what we want can’t be achieved alone. And that’s the tough part. Admitting we can’t go it alone.


It’s at this point we need to lean on someone who is there for us and who is willing to break through the mental barrier that is holding us back from achieving our goals. Our happiness.


We’re only human. And we have flaws and failures. And to continue on, we really need to admit to ourselves we need that helping hand.

Let others help when they want. They are the ones who see us when we are down and out. Even when we see a perfect future ahead of us.

Big Wheel Turning


Once the wheel stops turning, we are left at a standstill. It’s then at that point we begin to sit in one place and the rut sets in.

Like anything in life, once it stops, it collects moss, the same as a rolling stone that has stopped turning.


So it’s up to us to make sure that big wheel of life keeps turning. Without our drive and motivation we will end up the same as the moss covered stone. And that’s something we really don’t want, because frogs sit on stones covered in moss.

But staying motivated isn’t as easy as flicking a switch and turning on a light. It takes effort, and at times, lots of it. And this is when we need to dig deep and prove to ourselves we really want what’s sitting just out of arms reach.


There are different approaches when searching for motivation, but in the end, no matter how we dredge it up, it gets us there in the end.

Stay strong and positive. Your motivation is there, it’s just hiding amongst the layers of wrapping that comes with life.

Insight to my mind 


Sitting and waiting in the doctor’s office gave me time to think of the past few months and what they meant to me and how I’ve changed due to my cycling accident.


Physically I haven’t changed all that much. I’m a little less flexible right now, but physio and rehab will get me back to a point where I was before I was hit by a car. 

Mentally is a different story altogether I think. I have my good days, as well as some bad days. Small things set me off and I know I tend to get upset and angrier at things that would have never bothered me earlier in the year.


It was when I was lighting the fire, something I can do with my eyes closed and one hand tied behind my back. But this time was different.


The paper lit easily enough, as did the cardboard. And then that was it. The kindling refused to light and I lost the plot. Not just a few choice words, but a full dummy spit.


I sometimes need to admit to myself what happened has changed me. But I hope that most of the changes are for the best.

All I can do is continue with my rehab and hope that all the pieces fall into place before I really lose the plot.

Time will tell…

Motivation 

Every day has been a struggle for the past 3 ½ months. Just getting out of bed Involved help from others and more effort and energy than I had. But I got up and out of bed every single day, no matter how much I wanted to lay there and feel sorry for myself. And there were a few of those days.

But I have to admit it became a little easier with every passing day, but still, there were days when I had to push myself physically and mentally just to start the day.

Even once I was out of bed, I still had to muster up enough motivation to get through the days. Sometimes just a short walk seemed out of my reach, but then I would think of the end goal, and I would get off my backside and do what I needed to do to achieve my goal.

My goal may be a long time coming, but that won’t stop me from getting there. Even though I have to dig deep at times to push past the part of me that won’t budge.

Motivation is something that drives each and every single one of us. It makes us want to better ourselves in so many ways, to forge ahead and continue with what drives us and what we want to do, or become.

Some of us have an abundance of motivation, day in and day out. And they have very few days when they don’t strive to do their very best. But what happens to those people when they succumb to the lack of drive, even for just a single day?

They ride it out, and i know that from personal experience. It may not be easy, but the other option is giving up, and that, is not an option.

It doesn’t mean we won’t fail a few times, but the desire and motivation we have been born with will get us through.

Donuts beat Depression 

There are times that just the steady rotation of a set of bike pedals is enough to soothe the soul and make the heart beat a little quicker, from exertion and excitement. This feeling is doubled when a ride is shared with a friend who manages to chat through the entire 3.5 hour ride. Not that I minded one iota.

The destination is not important when out on the bike, it’s all about the journey, as is life in general. We all know where we will end up, but it’s what we do up to the point that makes the difference.

So during the journey on a ride, it’s who you meet along the way that makes a difference. As was the case today. As Kevin and I stopped off for a break at the end of the eastlink trail, we started chatting with an older chap who was out exercising that morning. 

He told us he exercises up to 2 hours every day, and at the ripe young age of 70, he was going great. The top tip he gave up both, eat less to lose weight. And then went on to apologise if he had offended either one of us.

With no offence taken, we headed home to find a coffee shop which served good coffee and sugary delights to help get us all the way home.

Cycling is more than just exercise, it is a form of stress management for many people. So when you see a group of cyclists on the road, they are saving a few bucks by riding, and not visiting a shrink.

Depression (or known as the Black Dog) is something that is well hidden by the person who has it. They will swear black and blue they are fine and nothing is wrong. But deep down they are hurting and either can’t or don’t want to adit they have a problem.

Ask them if they are really OK, as sometimes a friend’s shoulder is just as good, and if not better than a paid professional.