Sitting and waiting in the doctor’s office gave me time to think of the past few months and what they meant to me and how I’ve changed due to my cycling accident.
Physically I haven’t changed all that much. I’m a little less flexible right now, but physio and rehab will get me back to a point where I was before I was hit by a car.
Mentally is a different story altogether I think. I have my good days, as well as some bad days. Small things set me off and I know I tend to get upset and angrier at things that would have never bothered me earlier in the year.
It was when I was lighting the fire, something I can do with my eyes closed and one hand tied behind my back. But this time was different.
The paper lit easily enough, as did the cardboard. And then that was it. The kindling refused to light and I lost the plot. Not just a few choice words, but a full dummy spit.
I sometimes need to admit to myself what happened has changed me. But I hope that most of the changes are for the best.
All I can do is continue with my rehab and hope that all the pieces fall into place before I really lose the plot.
Time will tell…
Every day has been a struggle for the past 3 ½ months. Just getting out of bed Involved help from others and more effort and energy than I had. But I got up and out of bed every single day, no matter how much I wanted to lay there and feel sorry for myself. And there were a few of those days.
But I have to admit it became a little easier with every passing day, but still, there were days when I had to push myself physically and mentally just to start the day.
Even once I was out of bed, I still had to muster up enough motivation to get through the days. Sometimes just a short walk seemed out of my reach, but then I would think of the end goal, and I would get off my backside and do what I needed to do to achieve my goal.
My goal may be a long time coming, but that won’t stop me from getting there. Even though I have to dig deep at times to push past the part of me that won’t budge.
Motivation is something that drives each and every single one of us. It makes us want to better ourselves in so many ways, to forge ahead and continue with what drives us and what we want to do, or become.
Some of us have an abundance of motivation, day in and day out. And they have very few days when they don’t strive to do their very best. But what happens to those people when they succumb to the lack of drive, even for just a single day?
They ride it out, and i know that from personal experience. It may not be easy, but the other option is giving up, and that, is not an option.
It doesn’t mean we won’t fail a few times, but the desire and motivation we have been born with will get us through.
There are times that just the steady rotation of a set of bike pedals is enough to soothe the soul and make the heart beat a little quicker, from exertion and excitement. This feeling is doubled when a ride is shared with a friend who manages to chat through the entire 3.5 hour ride. Not that I minded one iota.
The destination is not important when out on the bike, it’s all about the journey, as is life in general. We all know where we will end up, but it’s what we do up to the point that makes the difference.
So during the journey on a ride, it’s who you meet along the way that makes a difference. As was the case today. As Kevin and I stopped off for a break at the end of the eastlink trail, we started chatting with an older chap who was out exercising that morning.
He told us he exercises up to 2 hours every day, and at the ripe young age of 70, he was going great. The top tip he gave up both, eat less to lose weight. And then went on to apologise if he had offended either one of us.
With no offence taken, we headed home to find a coffee shop which served good coffee and sugary delights to help get us all the way home.
Cycling is more than just exercise, it is a form of stress management for many people. So when you see a group of cyclists on the road, they are saving a few bucks by riding, and not visiting a shrink.
Depression (or known as the Black Dog) is something that is well hidden by the person who has it. They will swear black and blue they are fine and nothing is wrong. But deep down they are hurting and either can’t or don’t want to adit they have a problem.
Ask them if they are really OK, as sometimes a friend’s shoulder is just as good, and if not better than a paid professional.