Want Versus Need

We all have things we need to live our lives in a comfortable way. A roof over our heads. A few healthy, and sometimes not so healthy meals and a place to work where we can do our job and have a laugh with a few mates throughout the day.

But what about things we want. I mean really want! The things money can buy and we know its more of a luxury than a necessity. And deep down we know we can truly get by without, but we want it.

No matter who we are, we all have a few items we think we need, but are more of a want than anything else. Want versus need is situation that crops up and we need to make a choice. And that choice is not always as simple as it seems.

Do we stop ourselves from going out and buying a certain item or do we go without, even if we have the cash to splash and we will be happier for the purchase.

I know from personal experience i have wanted items that i could do without, but went off for some retail therapy, and felt better for the experience.

Then there are things that no amount of money can buy. Love and romance can’t be bought over the counter at the local store. Sex can be bought, but not love. Money is important so we can get on with our lives, but on its own, it won’t make us truly happy.

We need to think about what really makes us happy. Sometimes possessions bring a smile to our faces. But love is what truly makes the heart flutter and skip a beat as well as make turning that frown upside down.

As the Beatles told us:

I don’t care too much for money
Money can’t buy me love.

Little White Lies

No matter who we are, there is no doubt we have told a little white lie or two, or perhaps a few more. Some of them have been to not get busted after doing something wrong, while others may have been not to hurt other people’s feelings. Either way, we have been able to justify those lies to ourselves. Right or wrong.

The thing about the little white lies is that they eventually catch up and end up biting you on the arse. Sometimes leaving deep fang marks.

No matter what we think at the time, in the end the truth is the best way forward, even if there is some pain and heartache for the person who would have been lied to.

Then there is the fact of living in the lie, losing sleep and wanting it to end. It goes round in a neverending loop, getting deeeper and deeper with what seems no way out.

Even if we think we are doing the right thing and continue the lie so not to hurt someone who is close to us, it is better to tell the truth. There is a very good chance they will understand and life can go on.

If the lie cuts deep, the end result may not be what you really want, but its for the best for all involved and may be what we need to move forward with our lives.

Is it truly easier to ask for forgiveness than it is to ask for permission?

Be your own champion

While watching a documentary on the band Queen, they spoke about the songs, “We will rock you” and “We are the champions”. Both songs are now used at the end of major sporting events. There will only be one champion. One winner.

But in life, this is not always the case. Being number 1 is not something we all strive for in our lives. It’s not that we want to be at the bottom of the barrel, but we don’t feel the need to prove ourselves to anyone else.

The only person we need to better is ourselves. In sports, or at work, I do my best and that’s what gets me out of bed every morning. On the bike I chase down my PBs and strive to break one every time I get on the track. At work, it’s the same, I strive to do better than I did the day before. Sometimes easier said than done.

The only way to be a winner in life is to be honest with oneself. If we can do this on a daily basis we will continue to move in the right direction. It’s the moment we begin to lie to ourselves that everything is OK, then we head down the rabbit hole and never find our way out.

If we want to be a champion, we need to look deep into our own lives and not try to work out anyone else’s life. Our own life is complicated enough without delving into another’s life.

It’s high time to delve into what we really want, and what will make us a champion of our own life. Don’t wait another moment as tomorrow may never come.

Life choices

From the moment we wake up from our deep slumber, to the time we crawl back into our well made bed after a long day, we are forced to make multiple choices.

Some of these daily choices are as simple as what to have for breakfast. And for most people this choice is rather simple. Breakfast can be toast, cereal or just coffee. Personally, I get by with coffee until lunchtime, so I have one less choice to make. Then there is the tougher choice. What do we wear for the day? Jeans and tshirt work for me most days, but that’s not for everyone.

But these choices, as tough as we think they are, pale in comparison to some other choices we are faced with, and the descion we make can impact our lives, and the lives of people around us.

So as I sit here in the hospital waiting room once again in preparation for another operation, I need to make a very tough choice once I have fully recovered. Do I go back to road cycling and possibly be collected by another car, and this time, not live to tell that tale. Or do I stay on the bike path tracks and trails?

I keep getting told how truly lucky i am that I lived through a cycling accident involving a car and my carbon fiber road bike. I guess luck did play a part, and there was also lots of bad luck. But that’s in the past and I try not to dwell on it. Well, at least most of the time I don’t.

Once I recover from this operation, I need to think long abd hard if I will continue road cycling, or head back to riding tracks and trails to stay away from cars. Trucks and buses.

I know many people will say the choice is simple, get off the roads as it’s so much safer. Yes, in some ways it is, less cars and trucks and no angry cyclist hating motorists to hurl abuse and other objects at me as I ride past them.

But riding tracks and trails takes away part of the freedom road cycling offers. If I wanted to head north at a set of lights I could, or I could go whichever way I felt like heading.

On a bike trail, the options are fewer, so part of the freedom is taken away. Not that i can’t use different paths to ride on, it just takes away the one thing road bike had always offered me. Complete freedom.

In the past few months I have ridden some glorious tracks and trails. Some were easy, and in the last week i have discovered some tracks that have left me gasping for breath half way up. That’s all part of cycling.

After the operation I will have time to contemplate my future cycling routes. But right now, that seems like an eternity away.

I’m only human. Flesh and blood

No matter the color of our skin, we are all the same. We are all flesh and blood, skin and bones, muscle and tissue. So in reality, this means we are all prone to the same injuries and illnesses. And is saying that, we are all going to die at some point.

So it doesn’t matter whether we are black or white, or any shade in between, there is good and bad in everyone of us, and the hope that good outshines the bad is something we all want. But in saying this, there are people out there that only want to cause harm and pain to others around them. Some intentional, and other pain, very unintentional. But pain nonetheless.

With knowing that the colour of our skin has no direct impact on what we do in our lives, we are all prone to screwing up and doing one thing that will weigh heavily on our minds. Sometimes for a short while after, or other times that screw-up will stay with us for the remainder of our living years, until we take our last breath. We all make mistakes as our mental programming is similar. None of us can claim to be perfect. No matter what we think of ourselves.

Now knowing we are all programmed in the same way and should be able to forgive others of their discretions. which we do at some point. We also know that the people around us screw up, and we normally manage to forgive them for what they have done. Sometimes the pain takes longer to fade, but it does. And in the end we can forgive. Even if the memory stays firmly lodged in the back of of minds.

So, if we can eventually forgive others for the things they do and say that cause us pain, why can’t we forgive ourselves for the things we do to others? The ones we somehow hurt can eventually forgive us, but we cant let go of what we have done and are unable to cut ourselves some slack and let the past be exactly that. The past.

But sometimes it’s easier said than done. We continue turning over our ‘bad’ deeds in our minds, and don’t let them fade into the deepest part of our memory banks. Not that we should ever forget our mistakes, but they should not control our lives from the moment the mistake was made, until the moment we die.

When we reach the point in our lives where we know we need to let go of a memory, what can we do? We can’t just erase the memory, like they do with memories in the movie Total Recall. If we don’t like the current memories we have, we simply can’t have another one implemented. As good as an idea as that sounds, it’s not going to happen. At least not in my lifetime.

So what do we do? We can ask for forgiveness, but that may have already been given. In the end, we are the only ones who can let go of the memories that are weighing us down. These memories are the ones that are possibly causing more stress, pain and bitterness to others than the actual ‘bad’ deed itself.

Kindness and understanding from the people around us will make a difference. It may take time, but time is all we have.

I’m only human. Flesh and blood

No matter the color of our skin, we are all the same. We are all flesh and blood, skin and bones, muscle and tissue. So in reality, this means we are all prone to the same injuries and illnesses. And is saying that, we are all going to die at some point.

So it doesn’t matter whether we are black or white, or any shade in between, there is good and bad in everyone of us, and the hope that good outshines the bad is something we all want. But in saying this, there are people out there that only want to cause harm and pain to others around them. Some intentional, and other pain, very unintentional. But pain nonetheless.

With knowing that the colour of our skin has no direct impact on what we do in our lives, we are all prone to screwing up and doing one thing that will weigh heavily on our minds. Sometimes for a short while after, or other times that screw-up will stay with us for the remainder of our living years, until we take our last breath. We all make mistakes as our mental programming is similar. None of us can claim to be perfect. No matter what we think of ourselves.

Now knowing we are all programmed in the same way and should be able to forgive others of their discretions. which we do at some point. We also know that the people around us screw up, and we normally manage to forgive them for what they have done. Sometimes the pain takes longer to fade, but it does. And in the end we can forgive. Even if the memory stays firmly lodged in the back of of minds.

So, if we can eventually forgive others for the things they do and say that cause us pain, why can’t we forgive ourselves for the things we do to others? The ones we somehow hurt can eventually forgive us, but we cant let go of what we have done and are unable to cut ourselves some slack and let the past be exactly that. The past.

But sometimes it’s easier said than done. We continue turning over our ‘bad’ deeds in our minds, and don’t let them fade into the deepest part of our memory banks. Not that we should ever forget our mistakes, but they should not control our lives from the moment the mistake was made, until the moment we die.

When we reach the point in our lives where we know we need to let go of a memory, what can we do? We can’t just erase the memory, like they do with memories in the movie Total Recall. If we don’t like the current memories we have, we simply can’t have another one implemented. As good as an idea as that sounds, it’s not going to happen. At least not in my lifetime.

So what do we do? We can ask for forgiveness, but that may have already been given. In the end, we are the only ones who can let go of the memories that are weighing us down. These memories are the ones that are possibly causing more stress, pain and bitterness to others than the actual ‘bad’ deed itself.

Kindness and understanding from the people around us will make a difference. It may take time, but time is all we have.

What do we really want?


When we are youngsters, we somehow seem to know exactly what we want. We know what possessions we want, what friends we want and what pets we want in our homes and our lives

We are so focused we also know what job we want when we grow up. Young boys will want to be a police officer, a fireman, an astronaut or possibly a doctor. As for the young girls, I can only guess they dream of being a teacher, a nurse or perhaps a scientist.

But as we grow older and supposedly wiser after attending school and possibly college, we are out with all the other grownups and may not think that the degree we completed is the career path we want to head down.

In the end, we eventually settle down into a job that does more than pay the bills. It gets us out of the house on a daily basis and makes us productive, no matter what we end up doing.

So, in reality we should be happy. But are we? Having a job and getting paid is a very good thing. Going to work is also a fantastic place to socialise. We make workmates who sometimes become more than that.

Many people head out for drinks and dinner with work colleagues on a Friday night. And then there are the ones who go that one step further and date, and sometimes marry someone they work with.

But in the end, are we truly happy with what we have achieved in our lives?

No one can take away our achievements, so we are the only ones who think we have never done enough. We put ourselves down and think we could have gone that one step better. In sports, work and life.

So this is where we need to give ourselves a pat on the back. We have not only survived, but we have achieved more than what we really know.

Don’t stop believing in yourself, because once you do, the downwards spiral is not far away.