Born to sing the blues

Some people are born to win, some are born to lose, some are born to sing the blues.

Even though we may be born to win or lose, if we try hard enough, we can win, more than we lose. But is life all just about winning?

There are many times where second prize is good enough. It means we have had a crack at something, and that in itself is a huge accomplishment. We need to understand that not winning doesn’t make us losers, it makes us people who try, no matter the outcome.

Getting out of bed every morning is a win for many people who suffer some type of depression. But they put one foot in front of the other and get on with their daily lives. Not showing any signs of what they really feel deep inside.

Most people won’t show a single sign that they are depressed while out in public, or even when they are with family and friends. But once alone, its a different story.

Always keep an eye on your friends, be there for them, in the good times, and the bad. And as the days go by, there will be less and less bad days.

Little White Lies

No matter who we are, there is no doubt we have told a little white lie or two, or perhaps a few more. Some of them have been to not get busted after doing something wrong, while others may have been not to hurt other people’s feelings. Either way, we have been able to justify those lies to ourselves. Right or wrong.

The thing about the little white lies is that they eventually catch up and end up biting you on the arse. Sometimes leaving deep fang marks.

No matter what we think at the time, in the end the truth is the best way forward, even if there is some pain and heartache for the person who would have been lied to.

Then there is the fact of living in the lie, losing sleep and wanting it to end. It goes round in a neverending loop, getting deeeper and deeper with what seems no way out.

Even if we think we are doing the right thing and continue the lie so not to hurt someone who is close to us, it is better to tell the truth. There is a very good chance they will understand and life can go on.

If the lie cuts deep, the end result may not be what you really want, but its for the best for all involved and may be what we need to move forward with our lives.

Is it truly easier to ask for forgiveness than it is to ask for permission?

TLC

With everything in our lives, we need to make sure it gets all the TLC it needs to continue to stand on its own two feet, or to keep growing as it should. This means we need to take care of all the things in our lives, human, animal or even structural.

As I visited a good friend not long ago, I looked out of his backyard and saw the house behind him in was in a state of complete disrepair. It had been neglected for many years was in desperate need of some TLC. In fact, it could do with a complete overhaul. A fresh lick of paint was not going to do much to the property. A lick of paint would have the very same effect as putting lipstick on a pig.

On the off chance someone decided to put in the effort and give the place the TLC it needed, there is a very good possibility it could be restored back to it’s original state, and perhaps continue to be what it was first built to be. A home sweet home. A place where a family belonged and shared many memories together.

Some TLC goes a long way, not just on run down properties. It can make a person who is down in the dumps look up and smile and see the world in a completely different light, knowing that a person they care for feels the same way about them, and are willing to put in the effort to get them back to a happy state of mind.

TLC can be as simple as an acknowledging smile, a tender touch or even a few kind words of encouragement. In today’s technology based society, a simple text message would suffice. It doesn’t have to be an earth shattering gesture, but one that will make a difference. A huge difference.

There are many ways to show some TLC, spoken or unspoken. But in the end, that TLC needs to come from the heart, and it’s not just a gesture of show. If it’s just for show, it means diddly squat.

Take a chance on someone and give them some tender loving care, you may be surprised at what you receive in return.

Be your own champion

While watching a documentary on the band Queen, they spoke about the songs, “We will rock you” and “We are the champions”. Both songs are now used at the end of major sporting events. There will only be one champion. One winner.

But in life, this is not always the case. Being number 1 is not something we all strive for in our lives. It’s not that we want to be at the bottom of the barrel, but we don’t feel the need to prove ourselves to anyone else.

The only person we need to better is ourselves. In sports, or at work, I do my best and that’s what gets me out of bed every morning. On the bike I chase down my PBs and strive to break one every time I get on the track. At work, it’s the same, I strive to do better than I did the day before. Sometimes easier said than done.

The only way to be a winner in life is to be honest with oneself. If we can do this on a daily basis we will continue to move in the right direction. It’s the moment we begin to lie to ourselves that everything is OK, then we head down the rabbit hole and never find our way out.

If we want to be a champion, we need to look deep into our own lives and not try to work out anyone else’s life. Our own life is complicated enough without delving into another’s life.

It’s high time to delve into what we really want, and what will make us a champion of our own life. Don’t wait another moment as tomorrow may never come.

Life choices

From the moment we wake up from our deep slumber, to the time we crawl back into our well made bed after a long day, we are forced to make multiple choices.

Some of these daily choices are as simple as what to have for breakfast. And for most people this choice is rather simple. Breakfast can be toast, cereal or just coffee. Personally, I get by with coffee until lunchtime, so I have one less choice to make. Then there is the tougher choice. What do we wear for the day? Jeans and tshirt work for me most days, but that’s not for everyone.

But these choices, as tough as we think they are, pale in comparison to some other choices we are faced with, and the descion we make can impact our lives, and the lives of people around us.

So as I sit here in the hospital waiting room once again in preparation for another operation, I need to make a very tough choice once I have fully recovered. Do I go back to road cycling and possibly be collected by another car, and this time, not live to tell that tale. Or do I stay on the bike path tracks and trails?

I keep getting told how truly lucky i am that I lived through a cycling accident involving a car and my carbon fiber road bike. I guess luck did play a part, and there was also lots of bad luck. But that’s in the past and I try not to dwell on it. Well, at least most of the time I don’t.

Once I recover from this operation, I need to think long abd hard if I will continue road cycling, or head back to riding tracks and trails to stay away from cars. Trucks and buses.

I know many people will say the choice is simple, get off the roads as it’s so much safer. Yes, in some ways it is, less cars and trucks and no angry cyclist hating motorists to hurl abuse and other objects at me as I ride past them.

But riding tracks and trails takes away part of the freedom road cycling offers. If I wanted to head north at a set of lights I could, or I could go whichever way I felt like heading.

On a bike trail, the options are fewer, so part of the freedom is taken away. Not that i can’t use different paths to ride on, it just takes away the one thing road bike had always offered me. Complete freedom.

In the past few months I have ridden some glorious tracks and trails. Some were easy, and in the last week i have discovered some tracks that have left me gasping for breath half way up. That’s all part of cycling.

After the operation I will have time to contemplate my future cycling routes. But right now, that seems like an eternity away.

Alone

Most people will tell you they are never alone and always have someone close by or around them in their lives. They think they are not alone. But in reality they are and can’t, or won’t admit it to themselves that at times they are truly alone.

Just because we are in a crowded room, with a group of workmates in the office, on the road with a group of MAMIL, or even at home with family. We can still be very alone. Lost in our own world where we know it’s safe, and a place where we can retreat to in a time of despair, sorrow, anger or even pain.

So where is that special ‘alone’ space we crawl back into? It’s the place we head back to when it all becomes too much and it seems as if no one really gives a fuck. Even if they do, we don’t seem to understand.

That so called ‘alone’ space I crawl back into is one where I not only feel safe. But also alone. Very alone! And letting others into would be similar to lowering the drawbridge and allowing friends, and possibly foes into my private world.

A world where pain and anger can be dealt with in a way in which only I know how to deal with. And if that pain, anger and suffering somehow can’t be dealt with, there is always my road bike and a stretch of road that never seems to end.

So no matter who we are, we all tend to deal with the curve balls life throws at us from time to time. But when we are continually bombarded with one curve ball after another, it gets harder to keep going. And even our own private world begins to crumble before our very eyes.

In these times we need to reach out for help. And knowing very well this is easier said than done, it can he done so we can continue our life journey without the black dog breathing down our necks.

You never miss the life you don’t live.

As I sat at my desk surrounded by a few workmates and discussed what we were having for lunch, one of them jokingly suggested a healthy salad. It didn’t bother me as I already had my tuna and kale salad, packed and ready to be devoured with much gusto.

So during the very heated food discussion, the topic of buying pork crackling from Mr Crackle came up, and very quickly had us all salivating at the mere thought of devouring a bucket load of perfectly fried crackling to accompany our salads.

It was then that the healthy side of my brain crawled out from where it normally hibernates and piped up and said ‘That will take off a few years of our lives’.

The response I got back from one of my colleagues was one that made my head spin. ‘You never miss the life you don’t live’. And it did get me thinking.

We live for the future and what we can do with ourselves down the track. We look forward to our next weekend, our next holiday or our next fishing trip. Some of us even look forward to our next 100km ride (Sad, but true).

But what happens if we don’t get to that weekend, that trip or even that ride? We have no idea what lays install for us in the next moment, let alone in a year’s time.

We need to make the most of the very limited time we have while we are living and breathing. Being six foot under doesn’t count as time well spent on this blue/green planet of ours.

The time we do have is time we need to make the most of. I know I have said it before in my previous blog, Two dates and a dash, but essentially, that’s all our lives will be if we continue to look so far down the beaten track, that we don’t make the most of the time we have now. Not next year, not next month. Not even tomorrow. Now is the time.

If there is ever a time to get up and do something you know will put a smile on your face, make you drool with delight, or even make your heart skip a beat. Just do it. Do it now and don’t hesitate for a single second.

Don’t just make plans for what you want to do later in life. Now is the time.