You never miss the life you don’t live.

As I sat at my desk surrounded by a few workmates and discussed what we were having for lunch, one of them jokingly suggested a healthy salad. It didn’t bother me as I already had my tuna and kale salad, packed and ready to be devoured with much gusto.

So during the very heated food discussion, the topic of buying pork crackling from Mr Crackle came up, and very quickly had us all salivating at the mere thought of devouring a bucket load of perfectly fried crackling to accompany our salads.

It was then that the healthy side of my brain crawled out from where it normally hibernates and piped up and said ‘That will take off a few years of our lives’.

The response I got back from one of my colleagues was one that made my head spin. ‘You never miss the life you don’t live’. And it did get me thinking.

We live for the future and what we can do with ourselves down the track. We look forward to our next weekend, our next holiday or our next fishing trip. Some of us even look forward to our next 100km ride (Sad, but true).

But what happens if we don’t get to that weekend, that trip or even that ride? We have no idea what lays install for us in the next moment, let alone in a year’s time.

We need to make the most of the very limited time we have while we are living and breathing. Being six foot under doesn’t count as time well spent on this blue/green planet of ours.

The time we do have is time we need to make the most of. I know I have said it before in my previous blog, Two dates and a dash, but essentially, that’s all our lives will be if we continue to look so far down the beaten track, that we don’t make the most of the time we have now. Not next year, not next month. Not even tomorrow. Now is the time.

If there is ever a time to get up and do something you know will put a smile on your face, make you drool with delight, or even make your heart skip a beat. Just do it. Do it now and don’t hesitate for a single second.

Don’t just make plans for what you want to do later in life. Now is the time.

I’m only human. Flesh and blood

No matter the color of our skin, we are all the same. We are all flesh and blood, skin and bones, muscle and tissue. So in reality, this means we are all prone to the same injuries and illnesses. And is saying that, we are all going to die at some point.

So it doesn’t matter whether we are black or white, or any shade in between, there is good and bad in everyone of us, and the hope that good outshines the bad is something we all want. But in saying this, there are people out there that only want to cause harm and pain to others around them. Some intentional, and other pain, very unintentional. But pain nonetheless.

With knowing that the colour of our skin has no direct impact on what we do in our lives, we are all prone to screwing up and doing one thing that will weigh heavily on our minds. Sometimes for a short while after, or other times that screw-up will stay with us for the remainder of our living years, until we take our last breath. We all make mistakes as our mental programming is similar. None of us can claim to be perfect. No matter what we think of ourselves.

Now knowing we are all programmed in the same way and should be able to forgive others of their discretions. which we do at some point. We also know that the people around us screw up, and we normally manage to forgive them for what they have done. Sometimes the pain takes longer to fade, but it does. And in the end we can forgive. Even if the memory stays firmly lodged in the back of of minds.

So, if we can eventually forgive others for the things they do and say that cause us pain, why can’t we forgive ourselves for the things we do to others? The ones we somehow hurt can eventually forgive us, but we cant let go of what we have done and are unable to cut ourselves some slack and let the past be exactly that. The past.

But sometimes it’s easier said than done. We continue turning over our ‘bad’ deeds in our minds, and don’t let them fade into the deepest part of our memory banks. Not that we should ever forget our mistakes, but they should not control our lives from the moment the mistake was made, until the moment we die.

When we reach the point in our lives where we know we need to let go of a memory, what can we do? We can’t just erase the memory, like they do with memories in the movie Total Recall. If we don’t like the current memories we have, we simply can’t have another one implemented. As good as an idea as that sounds, it’s not going to happen. At least not in my lifetime.

So what do we do? We can ask for forgiveness, but that may have already been given. In the end, we are the only ones who can let go of the memories that are weighing us down. These memories are the ones that are possibly causing more stress, pain and bitterness to others than the actual ‘bad’ deed itself.

Kindness and understanding from the people around us will make a difference. It may take time, but time is all we have.

I’m only human. Flesh and blood

No matter the color of our skin, we are all the same. We are all flesh and blood, skin and bones, muscle and tissue. So in reality, this means we are all prone to the same injuries and illnesses. And is saying that, we are all going to die at some point.

So it doesn’t matter whether we are black or white, or any shade in between, there is good and bad in everyone of us, and the hope that good outshines the bad is something we all want. But in saying this, there are people out there that only want to cause harm and pain to others around them. Some intentional, and other pain, very unintentional. But pain nonetheless.

With knowing that the colour of our skin has no direct impact on what we do in our lives, we are all prone to screwing up and doing one thing that will weigh heavily on our minds. Sometimes for a short while after, or other times that screw-up will stay with us for the remainder of our living years, until we take our last breath. We all make mistakes as our mental programming is similar. None of us can claim to be perfect. No matter what we think of ourselves.

Now knowing we are all programmed in the same way and should be able to forgive others of their discretions. which we do at some point. We also know that the people around us screw up, and we normally manage to forgive them for what they have done. Sometimes the pain takes longer to fade, but it does. And in the end we can forgive. Even if the memory stays firmly lodged in the back of of minds.

So, if we can eventually forgive others for the things they do and say that cause us pain, why can’t we forgive ourselves for the things we do to others? The ones we somehow hurt can eventually forgive us, but we cant let go of what we have done and are unable to cut ourselves some slack and let the past be exactly that. The past.

But sometimes it’s easier said than done. We continue turning over our ‘bad’ deeds in our minds, and don’t let them fade into the deepest part of our memory banks. Not that we should ever forget our mistakes, but they should not control our lives from the moment the mistake was made, until the moment we die.

When we reach the point in our lives where we know we need to let go of a memory, what can we do? We can’t just erase the memory, like they do with memories in the movie Total Recall. If we don’t like the current memories we have, we simply can’t have another one implemented. As good as an idea as that sounds, it’s not going to happen. At least not in my lifetime.

So what do we do? We can ask for forgiveness, but that may have already been given. In the end, we are the only ones who can let go of the memories that are weighing us down. These memories are the ones that are possibly causing more stress, pain and bitterness to others than the actual ‘bad’ deed itself.

Kindness and understanding from the people around us will make a difference. It may take time, but time is all we have.

It takes guts – to leave the ruts

As time progresses, all of us become very comfortable in the way we do things, the way we live and the situations we end up putting up with for much longer than we really should.

I understand this is human nature and once we are in a comfortable rut, we don’t make a huge effort to change the situation. If any effort at all. Even though we know there is something better and another way to move forward in our lives and not be stuck in the same place just spinning our wheels and not going anywhere.

I have discovered that even the simplest of things in life become second nature to us. But what has really happened is that a rut has set in. It’s something that slowly happens over time and we don’t realize until it’s either pointed out to us or the realisation hits us like a ton of bricks.

It can be as simple as taking the same running route every time you head out for a walk or a run. I have noticed that with my walks and runs. I now take the same route when I head out in my running gear.

Not that the path I take is any easier than others in my area, I know that turning left at the first street would be less hilly for the first few kilometres and then I would get the hills, rather than struggle with hills at the start of the run. I would still be covering the same distance, but I would have some slightly different scenery as I puff and pant my way through the run.

The same applies when I head out on my road bike. I can go anywhere I want and end up in so many wonderful locations and see sights I have never seen before whilst out cycling. The world is truly my oyster. But after checking my Strava account, it really seems that I am a true creature of habit.

I have logged hundreds and hundreds of rides over the years, but a majority of them seem to take a very similar path. There may be a slight detour here and there, but the end destination is the same for more than 95% of my rides. Boring perhaps?

It’s not that I don’t have an adventurous streak in me, I know that’s there and has been proven on many occasions, some occasions more stupid than others, but it’s there, waiting to be set free on a regular basis.

Then there is the daily grind which can easily become a rut as we don’t make an effort for ourselves and for our family and partners. The people who mean the most to us also become a rut. But it doesn’t have to be that way.

Getting out of a rut that has well and truly set in takes effort. Sometimes a lot of effort. It’s not going to happen on its own. We need to make a conscious effort and get off our butts and take the first step to leave the rut behind.

That one first step becomes two steps. Two steps become four. And before we know it, the rut we were in so far behind us we can’t see it anymore.

As simple as it sounds, it will take effort. If the rut that has set in involves more than one person and has just about been set in stone, effort and patience is required. By the truck load.

In the end, we are the only ones who can pull ourselves out of a rut that is holding us back from achieving greatness.

We owe it to ourselves to to keep moving forward and leave the ruts behind.

The Simple Things

The more I look at life and all it has to offer, it becomes very obvious that the simple things are the ones that make us the happiest

From the delights of sharing a simple meal with friends all the way through to sitting on the beach with a loved one and watching the sun set over the calm waters. Watching the sunrise is just as spectacular, but there is the fact you do need to be out of bed rather early.

We are all very different, and what makes us happy is a very personal thing. Dining at a fancy restaurant, staying in bed all day and bumming around in pjs for the rest of the day, or getting up at the crack of dawn and cycling about until the legs scream for rest. It’s these very simple things that make life worth living.

And then there is the one other thing that makes us truly happy? To hear words of love and affection from the people who are closest to us.

‘I love you’ are the three little words that make life special to all of us, no matter how hardened we think we are. They make us smile, even if that smile is an internal one.

Tell someone you love them today, as tomorrow is never promised. And what if you don’t love them? It’s best they know that as well.

It’s not giving up when you know you have lost

The saying goes ‘When the going gets tough, the tough get going’. But what happens when you know what you’re after is so far out of reach, that not even a miracle will get you over the line for a win.

What does happens is you understand that not everything is able to be achieved and you need to make the hard call of whether you continue moving forward in a direction where failure is the only outcome.

And while you continue to forge forward, thinking you can win, what are you really achieving? More pain, heartache and unforgettable suffering?

Is it time to cut your losses and accept that this is the one you are going to lose?

At the end of the day, some you win, some you don’t. So I’m glad that I’m here with friends I know, who will always have a smile for me.

Lost in your own little world

As I sat on the morning train heading to work, I had a gentleman sit in front of me who had boarded at the same station. As the train continued on towards the city, a few stations further down, the seat next to the gentleman was taken up by a man of a similar age.

ey both had their heads down and were looking at their phones for the next 20 or so minutes. It was then that one of them looked up and to the side and realised he was sitting next to an old mate. The surprise in their voices was genuine and they chatted happily for the remainder of the trip into work.

They didn’t see one another because they were so wrapped up in their own little world, a space where no one is allowed to enter for a certain period of time, and no matter what goes on around them, they are lost in that world.

Being lost in your own world can be a good thing at times, but so many people become entrenched in their little world, and forget to live and interact with others around them in the real world.

The world, or space we go to when we want solitude doesn’t have to be a locked down room, it can be a place in the mind where we find peace and comfort. But, we can’t stay in that world forever, we need to venture out and live life in the real world, communicate with friends, family and lovers.

So when we do come out of our own world we need to make the time and effort to communicate with others around us, at home and at work, or in some rare cases, on the train. And when I say communicate, I do mean face to face. Texting, Facebook, and all the other variants of technology should be placed aside and a real conversation should take place.


Let’s not live and breathe all of our time in our own world, there is so much to see, do, learn and listen to once we step out and really communicate. Don’t be the one to let human communication become extinct.