Darkness

When the sun finally sets in the horizon, we are eventually shrouded in darkness, but there are times in our lives we can also be in the dark when the sun shines and it’s the middle of the day. There is no need for the moon to be out for us to feel as if we are in the dark, or in a dark place.

There will always be a time when we feel as if the walls around us are closing in and the light that’s shining bright is quickly fading, turning into darkness. It is in this situation, we feel as if there is nothing we can do, or no one we can turn to. But thats so very untrue.

There is always a friend close at hand who will drop what they have and stop by for a chat. Even a quick call to a mate is better than sitting in a room as the walls close in and darkness fills every crevice of your mind.

Even though we think we are in full control of our minds most of the time, we all do have a momentary lapse of reason. This may be for an hour, a day, or even a week. But this doesn’t mean we will never be back in control of how we feel and how we see ourselves.

Whilst we are in that dark space, our outlook on life is somewhat skewed and things tend to seem worse than they really are. But once we rise up and see the day of light, our perception changes in an instant.

The hardest part of falling into the darkness is not knowing how long the dark shroud will cloak us, and our minds. Time and friendship is what will help us see the light, and both are freely available to all of us, we just need to look around to see we are truly wanted and loved.

Never give up hope when darkness clouds you.

Christmas, family and friends

With Christmas barreling towards us faster than a pack of reindeers attached to a sled carrying a big bloke in a red suit, it’s a time of the year when we should be at our happiest.


Family, food and friends are only a small part of what the Christmas spirit has to offer. It’s a time of the year when we see children smile more often and adults become a little more relaxed as the year winds down.


So If this time of the year is meant to bring us nothing but joy and happiness, why is it that I see people on the train with a frown on their faces and what looks to be the problems of the world on their shoulders.



It doesn’t matter how hard we try, we all get a but down during the Christmas season.


Family, work or just the strain of another long and frustrating year. These are the things you want to leave behind and make a memory never to be seen again. Situations that may have dragged us into a dark place, are the ones we want to forget.


But if we sit back and take a good hard look at the year and our own lives, we should do nothing but smile, kick up our heels and celebrate life as we know it. It could have been a lot worse. Much worse.



There are millions of people around the world who are far less better off and they push through every day, sometimes not knowing what Christmas day is and what it truly means.


So with that in mind, take what you have around you, family, friends and loved ones and show them how much you appreciate their love and support.


You don’t need to buy an expensive gift or spoil them with treats. Show them how much the really mean by telling them. Say the words that mean the most.



A shot of whiskey mixed with a bigger shot of honesty will bring a smile to their lips and the year won’t seem nearly as bad as it may have been.



We are fortunate to be where we are and who we are with, so let’s show and tell.

Cronuts, cycling and friendship 

After not having been on a bike for over 9 months,it was time to test the waters and hit a track to see how my mind and body would cope.

So when it came to going off road and getting down and dirty on the Warby trail, there was only one person who I wanted to be by my side as I took the first few turns of the pedals of my trusty Giant mountain bike.



On the day of the ride and waking up much earlier than really required, I checked and then rechecked my gear and then my bike. A few butterflies fluttered in my stomach, but not as bad as I expected.

So once at the start of the track, I slipped on my gloves and put on my helmet and took off with my bro right by my side.


I guess it’s true what they say that you never forget how to ride a bike. It was easy as I  turned the pedals over and the track quickly became a familiar friend.

We chatted and laughed and whatever nerves I had were left at the start of the track. Still some apprehension, but nothing that was going to stop me from enjoying my return to the bike and the scenery it revealed.



With the sun on our backs and a light breeze cutting across us, the distance wasn’t an issue, and neither was my fitness, at least for the first part of the ride.

The return trip was a little tougher on the body, but as we decided to stop off for a coffee and cronut with 10kms from the starting point, I had enough sugar in my body to get me over the line.



Could have I completed the my return ride without my bro by my side? I honestly don’t know. But what I do know is that he would have been by my side whenever I decided to take the plunge back onto the world of cycling.



As miserable as 2017 has been, there were a few happy moments. This was one moment that will stay with me for my remaining days. Not because I got back on the bike, or that i managed to clock up 30 plus kms, but the friendship that helped me get through a dark time for me.


The ride cost nothing, just time spent together. Money can’t buy happiness, but a friendship is worth millions.



Unguarded moment 


There are times in our lives when it’s so hard finding inspiration, no matter what we are doing or attempting. And when the inspiration fails to surface, we are sent into a downwards spiral of anger, frustration, and sometimes depression.


It is at that time when we are at a low point in our lives, we have an unguarded moment. And at this point we can be found in a huddled in a corner, sobbing hysterically and rocking ourselves on the floor, trying to regain some composure in our lives.


But the composure and sanity we seek does not always happen right away, and in some cases it doesn’t happen for what may seem an eternity.



When we find ourselves in that unguarded moment, it seems that no matter what people say, we can, and normally take it to heart and become offended by their words, and sometimes even their gestures.


What may have been a light-hearted comment, ends up turning your world upside down untill you eventually realise there was no malice intended.


This is the point where we need to sit down and sort out whatever is going on in our minds and either get over what was said, or put it into a box and to sort once we have moved out from our unguarded moment.


Until we have a clear mind and are out of the shell we placed ourselves into, we see the world in a completely different light. And that light is usually a dark shade of black.



No matter what we think, there is always someone to lean on or talk to; family, friends, or even a professional who is happy to listen, and offer some advice. Even if they don’t offer advice, it’s always good to have a chat and get a few things off your chest. This way, that unguarded moment can be left behind and the world will be a better place.


At least until the next unguarded moment crashes back onto our lives.


You don’t know what you’ve got till it’s gone 


Every day we get out of bed and expect everything to be the same. Even if not exactly the same, something that resembles what we had and what was around the previous day, the previous month or even the previous year.

It takes a major event to change the way we are or the way we see and things. To see that things have changed dramatically and we had no say in what occurred. We have had something taken away from us without our consent.

The ‘thing’ taken away from us may not necessarily be a physical item, one which we were able to hold in our hands and look at, and feel when we needed.

It’s sometimes easy enough to head down to the local mall and pick up a replacement of what was taken. And if the local shops don’t have what we want, there is always internet shopping. That has all we want, and so much more.


And then there are times that what is taken away from us is either in our mind, or part of our spirit. And these are the things that are difficult or near impossible to replace or replicate. No shopping mall or internet bargain basement can help us replace what has been taken away.

This is the time in our lives when we need to dig deep and pull out all stops to at least try and get back what’s long gone. This may take a day, a month, a year. Or longer still.


Personally, I hate knowing and feeling I am missing something that I always had, and something I worked hard to get and maintain.

But in the past nine months my fitness level has slipped to a point where I hate the person who put me in this position. Not that I had a choice in the matter. I was in the wrong place at the wrong time.

So now it’s a long uphill battle to get back to where I once was. Some days I can see where I am heading as clear as daylight. And other days the waters are murky and the uphill battle is a physical and mental struggle.


I know there is no quick fix and what I need to do will take more time than I want to allow, but, this is another choice I have little say in. Even with daily rahab it’s tough going. And this is where I will do all I can to regain my lost ‘thing’. No matter what! 

This song just makes sense. Enjoy. 

Brave Face

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There is the face we show the world. And another we keep hidden and only see when we look in the mirror to see it staring back at us.

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We tend not to show the world and the people around us how we feel. On the outside we are bright and bubbly, always quick with a joke and ready for a laugh.  But beneath the facade of happiness lies a another part of us we keep hidden.  A part of our lives we dread to show the world.

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We keep our inner selves so well hidden at times, that even we truly have no idea of what lies beneath.  We are so afraid to let our feelings show, we keep pushing them into the furthest crevices of  our minds until we think they can never rise back and bother us.

But in time they will rise to the surface, and it will happen when we least want them back.  But they are there. Waiting for the right moment to make a reappearance into our lives and bring us crashing back down to terra firma.

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Keeping our emotions buried deep will only make it harder to accept the real facts when they eventually surface. We need to drag them out form the darkness before they really do ruin our lives completely.

We can’t continue to dodge a bullet. And that’s exactly what our inner feelings are. A bullet with our name on it. So before the bullet is shot, we need to release it from the gun barrel and let it drop, before it takes us down.

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As much as we think we can beat our inner demons alone, there is a much better chance of succeeding if we share the burden.  And that in itself is the harder layer, acknowledging we have a real problem.

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Don’t do it alone, a problem shared is a problem halved.

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Shattered dreams and inner strength 


From the time we can remember, our heads are filled with dreams of how our lives will turn out when we get that little bit older and become ‘grown ups’.

Some of us dream of growing up and being a policeman, a doctor, nurse or even a chef. But as we progress in life, our dreams take a different path for one reason or another. From day to day we snake through the jungle of what we call life.


So when we are old enough and entrenched in a full time job, and perhaps not the one we dreamt about in our younger years. We keep going and make the best of what we have. Because it’s what we do. We keep going and don’t give up.

But the thought of giving up on our dreams is something that is easier to do than to keep chasing. The dreams from our childhood or others dreams that have flooded our minds as we have grown up.

And then there comes a time in our lives when something happens and takes away all our dreams in the blink of an eye. An instant that changes us and the very person we are, and all our dreams go up in a puff of smoke. Gone. But not forgotten.


It’s at this point we realise we have choices. Get up of our bums, dust ourselves off and keep chasing our dreams. Or we can let go of what we wanted and quietly fade away into the background of life.


One option is so much easier that the other. But they are exactly that. Options.

I know that getting up and forging forward after a setback, and then another is not as simple as that. It takes strength, inner strength. Not just physical strength to get out of bed every morning. But the mental strength to to know that what we want can’t be achieved alone. And that’s the tough part. Admitting we can’t go it alone.


It’s at this point we need to lean on someone who is there for us and who is willing to break through the mental barrier that is holding us back from achieving our goals. Our happiness.


We’re only human. And we have flaws and failures. And to continue on, we really need to admit to ourselves we need that helping hand.

Let others help when they want. They are the ones who see us when we are down and out. Even when we see a perfect future ahead of us.