Clearing the head


One of the best ways to clear up a foggy brain is to go out for a nice walk. The fresh air and change of scenery will do you and your mind wonders. 

So was the case on this very cold and windy morning on the Mornington Peninsula. The pier was deserted, and I can understand why. 


Not was it brisk, it was damn cold. The offshore sea breeze didn’t help, but the walk itself did help clear my mind. 

It will take a few more walks to clear it completely, but right now I do have some spare time on my hands. 

What Is Happiness???


Is happiness something that we are born with and keep in our hearts and minds throughout our lives, or is it something we strive for, with ever beat of our hearts? 


This is a question that comes up on a regular basis, but it should be a natural occurrence for all of us, no questions asked. 

But there are times when we lose sight of what we want and the happiness in our lives slowly slides away, until all we see of it is a glimmer, and a very tiny glimmer. 

These are the times when we need family and friends to step in an help show us the path to happiness, and to where we should be.


We can’t always stand on our own two feet and expect to keep a smile on our dial, day in and day out. And we may not ask for others to help return our smile. It’s is really up to those ones close to us to and know when our happiness has left the building.


The biggest question is, do we all really deserve to be truly happy, or are some of us destined to feel pain and sorrow throughout our lives? 

Coffee break. Time to think 

Sitting in a local coffee shop sipping on a hot vanilla latte and watching the cold winter wind push a few stray leaves along the footpath.  

Not a bad way to spend a some time. Drinking coffee and contemplating life and what it has left to offer. 

With everything that has happened over the past few months, time is the one thing I’ve had plenty of. Time and not much to do except think and assess the situation. 

It could have been worse, much worse. But it seems that time is healing most of the hurt I’ve been feeling. And only more time will heal all wounds. So I’m hoping. 

Clear as mud in a beer bottle

There are days when we can see far across the ocean and everything is as clear as day. And then there are other days when no matter how hard we try, everything is about as clear as mud in a beer bottle.


During these times of non clarity we tend to lose sight of the future and the direction in which we want to head, making us doubt our own minds.


It’s not always easy to pick ourselves up and keep going, and we sometimes need a swift kick in the arse to jumpstart us into action. And wherever that kick comes from, it shouldn’t really make much difference. As long as we get going once again.


Most times we are kicked back into action by a family member or a close friend, and without these people in our lives we would easily slip into a rut and head down a slippery path of no return.

It’s those people we need to keep close to our hearts and minds, not just in a time of need, but whenever possible, as they will be there to help us through thick and thin.

Why are we born? Why did God put us here?


This is normally a question a parent would be asked by a young child. But not always the case. It’s something that crops up in our own minds in times of need or a low point in our days, or our lives. 

We think we are put here for a purpose, and when we are unable to fulfill that purpose, we feel as we have let others and ourselves down.


So when we reach a point and look back and think where did it go off the rails and it went so wrong. That’s what you see from your perspective, but othera still see all that you have done and all your achievements. What we see as failure in our own eyes, others see as success and achievements. 


These are the times we need to listen to those around us, our family and friends and take in their thoughts on how we are truly travelling.


Just because we think we are off track, it’s the way we see it, and definitely not the case. We need to learn to believe in ourselves, and we will achieve what we were born to do on this earth.

Insight to my mind 


Sitting and waiting in the doctor’s office gave me time to think of the past few months and what they meant to me and how I’ve changed due to my cycling accident.


Physically I haven’t changed all that much. I’m a little less flexible right now, but physio and rehab will get me back to a point where I was before I was hit by a car. 

Mentally is a different story altogether I think. I have my good days, as well as some bad days. Small things set me off and I know I tend to get upset and angrier at things that would have never bothered me earlier in the year.


It was when I was lighting the fire, something I can do with my eyes closed and one hand tied behind my back. But this time was different.


The paper lit easily enough, as did the cardboard. And then that was it. The kindling refused to light and I lost the plot. Not just a few choice words, but a full dummy spit.


I sometimes need to admit to myself what happened has changed me. But I hope that most of the changes are for the best.

All I can do is continue with my rehab and hope that all the pieces fall into place before I really lose the plot.

Time will tell…

No Promises

There are some promises that are easy to keep, such as, I promise to mow the lawns this weekend, or I promise to fix blocked gutters before it rains again.

Then there are other promises that are more difficult to keep, no matter how hard you try.

One of my promises to my wife was that I would ride safe and be careful every time I went out on the road bike. Rain, blowing winds and sunny days, I would tell her the same thing as she lay in bed and I ventured off for my morning rides.


This was one promise I broke sometime in mid March 2017. My intentions were good and my years on the bike made no difference at all on this bright and sunny Saturday morning along the Melbourne peninsula. My lights were flashing and I was wearing my multicoloured cycling outfit. But still, a broken promise.

Having been on the road for close to an hour, I knew my halfway point for my outing. There was a slight headwind as I headed towards Point Nepean, and I was pushing myself harder than normal. It must have been the fantastic conditions, and I was out on my own and nothing but 80s music streaming through my headphones and a clear mind.

In a split second, my entire life was about to take a tumble for the worse. But it could have been far more serious. So I consider myself extremely lucky. And I was given a lifeline. 

A car coming in the opposite direction performed an illegal turn in front of me. Obviously not having seen me. And I’m not what one would consider a small unit.

With less than a split second to do something. I did the obvious. I hit his front side guard at over 30 kilometres per hour.

The first and only thing that went through my mind was, it’s over. Goodbye!

I flipped over his hood, landing on my arse and then ploughed into his windscreen, shattering it into thousands of pieces with my shoulder. And my journey continued I somersaulted over his car, as I watched my glasses and iPhone fly well ahead of me.

Landing on the ground more than 12 feet away from his car, I later discovered I broke my back. My L4 to be exact. And in thst split second, my life had changed. Forever!


Pain filled every fibre of my body, but for some unknown reason, I was still able to move my arms and legs. A positive sign I thought as I screamed in pain as I was surrounded by some very helpful and concerned bystanders.

The ambulance trip to the Frankston hospital was one without all that much pain, but I would have to say the morphine in my system had a lot to do with that fact.

The next few hours with my wife beside me at the Frankston hospital and then at the Alfred hospital trauma centre were good, bad, anxious, concerning, and the scariest hours of my life.

I was eventually told I had a broken back, but signs were positive because I was able to move my arms and legs. No internal or neauralogical damage, so another positive sign.

After leaving the hospital five days later, and in a very uncomfortable back brace I was to wear for the following 12 weeks. In some desperate hope my back would heal on its own and no surgery would be required.

With all the damage I had suffered, I was extremely lucky not to have injured any of my spinal nerves and no other nerves impacted. I only have God to thank for that. And not having died on the side of the road was something I still look back at and wonder why?

The following 12 weeks were filled with some of the lowest points in my life. Not just the pain, but the not knowing how and if I would fully recover. And at the lowest point, if I really wanted to continue. I knew deep down I had to abandon all fear if I was to make it through.

With the help and support of family and friends, I struggled through and continued to make progress. First getting out of bed without assistance, and eventually able to walk to my letterbox.

I have to admit ut did get a little easier the more I moved. I ended up going on 5 kilometre walks as the weeks dragged by. My only outings were visits to surgeons and physiotherapists.

The long road of rehabilitation lays ahead of me, 6-12 months I’ve been told before I’m back to the condition I was in before the accident.

In the end, what got me through was love and friendship. And lots of pain medication.

My Scott carbon fibre bike was written off, but I still have my Avanti, which is patiently waiting for me to decide on my path forward.


As for the path after rehabilitation, do I go back to the one sport I loved with a passion, or do I take up stamp collecting, as suggested by my brother.


Whatever I decide, I have honestly found that love and friendship conquers all, physical and mental pain.

No Promises – Icehouse