Is suicide the only way out?

With a number of celebrities taking their own lives recently, I have been left to wonder if that is the only way to resolve life issues. The ending of their life may be the end of their own journey and problems. but what about the remaining journeys of the family and friends who are left to grieve and pick up the pieces.

Loved ones will always be left to grieve for the loss, and will continue to wonder if they had missed the signs or if there was something they could, or should have done to have avoided the loss of a beautiful life.

Without doubt, there will always be a time of darkness and depression in our lives, it’s only natural. We can’t cruise though our entire lives without hitting a few lows. But is suicide the only way out?

Looking around at the people who are suffering and are still with us, it shows there is another option rather than ending it all. There is pain and suffering in their everyday lives. From the moment they wake up, until they go to sleep. There is constant pain. Never ending pain.

It’s a sad thing to know many people are in a place where all they can see is darkness in their lives with no happy future and no way out. Their options seem very limited, and they think death is their best friend. But is it? The fight with the black dog can be a temporary part of life. Death is forever.

In a person’s mind, it may not be the best way to resolve the problem, but in that state, they can’t see any other way forward.

The next week, the next month, the next year might be bad. But none of us know when the tide will turn. And yes, looking that far into the future is impossible, for anyone. Let alone for a person who is depressed.

Family and friends are normally so close that they are unable to see what is really going on under the covers. They may miss the early warning signs and after that, life is like normality to them.

So in many cases, family and friends never get to shine the light and help because they never realize there is a problem until it’s too late. And after it’s done. they torture themselves because they never saw it coming and have no idea why it happened.

Those who feel all hope is gone are very good at hiding their true state of mind from people around them, and those who are closest are often blindsided by the situation. Work colleagues are often in a better position to see the warning signs as they are not as close. Thats why its very important to ask “are you ok”.

In the end all we can do is to be there, look out for the warning signs and help keep the black dog at bay.

If you or a friend feel the need to talk to someone, the following links can help.

www.beyondblue.org.au

www.lifeline.org.au

A year is a long time



A year equals 365 days.

A year equals 8760 hours

A year equals 525600 minutes

A year equals 31,536,000 seconds.

All it took was one of those seconds to change my life forever.

With a long and painful year behind me, I can now begin to look forward and set a few new targets as the last of my operations are done and dusted.

When people discover I had a major incident with a car while cycling, i get the standard response of how lucky I really am.

In some ways this makes sense, I am still able to walk and have full function of all my limbs and only with some pain on a daily basis. But yes, I am alive and have managed to get back on the bike and continue with my life in a way I would have wanted.

But, if I had been really ‘lucky’ I would have never been hit by a motorist who was not paying attention to the roads in front of him. I would have never suffered the effects of a broken back and other painful injuries.

Luck has not been the biggest factor in getting back on my feet and eventually back on the bike. Persistence may have had a huge part to play, and the fact I find it rather difficult to accept help, even when I should was another factor.

Unlucky is probably the best way to describe the situation I ended up in. Broken and feeling very sorry for myself at the best of times. Not that giving up was ever an option, even though I have to admit there were times where it was one step forward and two steps back.

Having to go through two separate procedure, shoulder and then my hand, which I was told was fine. I guess the surgeon got that one wrong. So after 11 months, I had surgery to repair my thumb, and the rehab begins from scratch.

So all I can do from this point forward is look forward to a time where I can be happy with my condition and the joys I have ahead in my life.

A second can sometimes be the longest time in a person’s life.

Make every second count as you may not get the next one

It’s not giving up when you know you have lost

The saying goes ‘When the going gets tough, the tough get going’. But what happens when you know what you’re after is so far out of reach, that not even a miracle will get you over the line for a win.

What does happens is you understand that not everything is able to be achieved and you need to make the hard call of whether you continue moving forward in a direction where failure is the only outcome.

And while you continue to forge forward, thinking you can win, what are you really achieving? More pain, heartache and unforgettable suffering?

Is it time to cut your losses and accept that this is the one you are going to lose?

At the end of the day, some you win, some you don’t. So I’m glad that I’m here with friends I know, who will always have a smile for me.

It is what it is.

We all have a time in our lives when we desperately want things to be different. Sometimes very different.

The situation we are in may have been our own stupid fault, or at other times, the situation was out of our control and can’t be changed, no matter what we do.

These are the times we need to understand the choices we have; live with the situation, or adapt so that we can continue living our lives and not stress out about the unchangeable.

The full stop at the end of ‘It is what it is.’ means that’s it, and the final option for that particular scenario. It doesn’t mean you have to like it, but other things can be changed to compensate for the unchangeable.

Many of us are trapped inside a box and need to think outside of it to make our lives better, physically, mentally and emotionally.

When we eventually think outside the box, not only does our outlook change, so does our life.

It all comes back to change, and how we let it impact our lives, go with the flow or sit in the same place and grow moss. And growing moss just doesn’t sound very appealing to me in anyway whatsoever.

I know that change doesn’t come easily to many people, and I’m one of those people who hates change. But to live a better and live a stress free life,  I have had to learn to change and to adapt.

The dinasours never adapted, and we all know what happosned to them. Let’s not follow in their huge footstep and adapt so we can continue living.

Make a few changes and see the difference it can make. It can’t hurt.

Expiry Date


Every time we open the fridge or take a look in our pantry, we find items that are close to or past their expiry date. Milk, yoghurt, pasta and even sugar laced cereal has an expiry date.


All these items hit their end of life date before we had time to make the most of what they had to offer us. We let the opportunity slip through our fingers and then realise we should have made the most of the item before it hit its time was over.

But, as with all food items we can venture down to the local supermarket and replenish the old expired stock with some fresh items. And then we are able to sit down to a breakfast of milk and cereal. Hopefully Coco Pops.


Even after restocking the pantry and fridge with fresh items, there is one item with an expiry date that we should all be concerned about. Our very own end of life. Once we hit our expiry date, there is no trip to the supermarket that will help us in anyway.

So with that expiry period at the forefront of my mind of late, I’ve realised that even the simplest things in life can be the most enjoyable. From sipping a latte at my favourite coffee shop or taking a hike through the hilly terrain of some local tracks.


We never know what tomorrow brings, so when we we wake up every morning we should take every single opportunity to make the most of our lives.

Spending time with family, friends and loved ones is never going to be a waste of their time or yours. It will make our time before our expiry date so much more pleasurable and bring a smile to our faces.


Now that I have the opportunity to look back, I realise my end of life date could have easily been 18 March 2017. But I was fortunate enough to see another day.

And with that second opportunity I want to get out and about and do things that will make me smile and understand there is happiness to be found.


If that involves getting on a plane and travelling the globe or one day getting back on the bike and cycling around to areas I never got to do beforehand, then I will be making the most of second opportunity.


Be sure you make the most before your expiry date us reached.

Coffee break. Time to think 

Sitting in a local coffee shop sipping on a hot vanilla latte and watching the cold winter wind push a few stray leaves along the footpath.  

Not a bad way to spend a some time. Drinking coffee and contemplating life and what it has left to offer. 

With everything that has happened over the past few months, time is the one thing I’ve had plenty of. Time and not much to do except think and assess the situation. 

It could have been worse, much worse. But it seems that time is healing most of the hurt I’ve been feeling. And only more time will heal all wounds. So I’m hoping. 

Heading in the right direction


We need to look deeper into our hearts and minds to really discover what we want from our future. A quick scan will more than likely miss what we are truly thinking. And that’s when we head off in the wrong direction.
The direction we take can impact us for longer than we want. An entire lifetime. But how do know what direction is really right for us?

There is normally one path that shines brighter than all the others. This is the obvious path. Or is it?

We will only know if we are on the right path once we have cleared our minds of everything else except for the path that lays ahead, and are certain there is no other way forward.


Once we know the right path, there is no sense in wasting time and procrastinating about the choice we are about to make.

Take that step into the right direction, your heart and mind will thank you forever.

Renée Geyer – Heading in the right direction