There have been many occasions over the past few years where I have questioned why I am, where I am. Is it because Lady Luck was on my side at that moment in my life? Or was it because, it wasn’t my time.
I keep thinking to myself, my life should have ended on the road that sunny morning. But it didn’t. And I can’t understand why.
It’s not that I’m not grateful that I’m alive. Every day there is something that reminds me of that morning. Sometimes it’s pain, other times it’s when I drop items or can’t pick them up. When I struggle to hold a pick as I play the guitar.
Then there are times when a program on TV brings back memories that should be shelved and not be allowed to see the light of day again. But those memories will only fade, and never leave. Engrained in my mind, forever.
We all need to face our demons at one point or another. Now is a good a time as any. Moving on is easier said than done, and if we don’t, all we are doing is fooling ourselves that everything is OK when deep down we know it’s not.
Second chances are made to be taken, do so when they land in your lap… Its high time I took mine.
There is the face we show the world. And another we keep hidden and only see when we look in the mirror to see it staring back at us.
We tend not to show the world and the people around us how we feel. On the outside we are bright and bubbly, always quick with a joke and ready for a laugh. But beneath the facade of happiness lies a another part of us we keep hidden. A part of our lives we dread to show the world.
We keep our inner selves so well hidden at times, that even we truly have no idea of what lies beneath. We are so afraid to let our feelings show, we keep pushing them into the furthest crevices of our minds until we think they can never rise back and bother us.
But in time they will rise to the surface, and it will happen when we least want them back. But they are there. Waiting for the right moment to make a reappearance into our lives and bring us crashing back down to terra firma.
Keeping our emotions buried deep will only make it harder to accept the real facts when they eventually surface. We need to drag them out form the darkness before they really do ruin our lives completely.
We can’t continue to dodge a bullet. And that’s exactly what our inner feelings are. A bullet with our name on it. So before the bullet is shot, we need to release it from the gun barrel and let it drop, before it takes us down.
As much as we think we can beat our inner demons alone, there is a much better chance of succeeding if we share the burden. And that in itself is the harder layer, acknowledging we have a real problem.
Don’t do it alone, a problem shared is a problem halved.