Insight to my mind 


Sitting and waiting in the doctor’s office gave me time to think of the past few months and what they meant to me and how I’ve changed due to my cycling accident.


Physically I haven’t changed all that much. I’m a little less flexible right now, but physio and rehab will get me back to a point where I was before I was hit by a car. 

Mentally is a different story altogether I think. I have my good days, as well as some bad days. Small things set me off and I know I tend to get upset and angrier at things that would have never bothered me earlier in the year.


It was when I was lighting the fire, something I can do with my eyes closed and one hand tied behind my back. But this time was different.


The paper lit easily enough, as did the cardboard. And then that was it. The kindling refused to light and I lost the plot. Not just a few choice words, but a full dummy spit.


I sometimes need to admit to myself what happened has changed me. But I hope that most of the changes are for the best.

All I can do is continue with my rehab and hope that all the pieces fall into place before I really lose the plot.

Time will tell…

No Promises

There are some promises that are easy to keep, such as, I promise to mow the lawns this weekend, or I promise to fix blocked gutters before it rains again.

Then there are other promises that are more difficult to keep, no matter how hard you try.

One of my promises to my wife was that I would ride safe and be careful every time I went out on the road bike. Rain, blowing winds and sunny days, I would tell her the same thing as she lay in bed and I ventured off for my morning rides.


This was one promise I broke sometime in mid March 2017. My intentions were good and my years on the bike made no difference at all on this bright and sunny Saturday morning along the Melbourne peninsula. My lights were flashing and I was wearing my multicoloured cycling outfit. But still, a broken promise.

Having been on the road for close to an hour, I knew my halfway point for my outing. There was a slight headwind as I headed towards Point Nepean, and I was pushing myself harder than normal. It must have been the fantastic conditions, and I was out on my own and nothing but 80s music streaming through my headphones and a clear mind.

In a split second, my entire life was about to take a tumble for the worse. But it could have been far more serious. So I consider myself extremely lucky. And I was given a lifeline. 

A car coming in the opposite direction performed an illegal turn in front of me. Obviously not having seen me. And I’m not what one would consider a small unit.

With less than a split second to do something. I did the obvious. I hit his front side guard at over 30 kilometres per hour.

The first and only thing that went through my mind was, it’s over. Goodbye!

I flipped over his hood, landing on my arse and then ploughed into his windscreen, shattering it into thousands of pieces with my shoulder. And my journey continued I somersaulted over his car, as I watched my glasses and iPhone fly well ahead of me.

Landing on the ground more than 12 feet away from his car, I later discovered I broke my back. My L4 to be exact. And in thst split second, my life had changed. Forever!


Pain filled every fibre of my body, but for some unknown reason, I was still able to move my arms and legs. A positive sign I thought as I screamed in pain as I was surrounded by some very helpful and concerned bystanders.

The ambulance trip to the Frankston hospital was one without all that much pain, but I would have to say the morphine in my system had a lot to do with that fact.

The next few hours with my wife beside me at the Frankston hospital and then at the Alfred hospital trauma centre were good, bad, anxious, concerning, and the scariest hours of my life.

I was eventually told I had a broken back, but signs were positive because I was able to move my arms and legs. No internal or neauralogical damage, so another positive sign.

After leaving the hospital five days later, and in a very uncomfortable back brace I was to wear for the following 12 weeks. In some desperate hope my back would heal on its own and no surgery would be required.

With all the damage I had suffered, I was extremely lucky not to have injured any of my spinal nerves and no other nerves impacted. I only have God to thank for that. And not having died on the side of the road was something I still look back at and wonder why?

The following 12 weeks were filled with some of the lowest points in my life. Not just the pain, but the not knowing how and if I would fully recover. And at the lowest point, if I really wanted to continue. I knew deep down I had to abandon all fear if I was to make it through.

With the help and support of family and friends, I struggled through and continued to make progress. First getting out of bed without assistance, and eventually able to walk to my letterbox.

I have to admit ut did get a little easier the more I moved. I ended up going on 5 kilometre walks as the weeks dragged by. My only outings were visits to surgeons and physiotherapists.

The long road of rehabilitation lays ahead of me, 6-12 months I’ve been told before I’m back to the condition I was in before the accident.

In the end, what got me through was love and friendship. And lots of pain medication.

My Scott carbon fibre bike was written off, but I still have my Avanti, which is patiently waiting for me to decide on my path forward.


As for the path after rehabilitation, do I go back to the one sport I loved with a passion, or do I take up stamp collecting, as suggested by my brother.


Whatever I decide, I have honestly found that love and friendship conquers all, physical and mental pain.

No Promises – Icehouse

Heading in the right direction


We need to look deeper into our hearts and minds to really discover what we want from our future. A quick scan will more than likely miss what we are truly thinking. And that’s when we head off in the wrong direction.
The direction we take can impact us for longer than we want. An entire lifetime. But how do know what direction is really right for us?

There is normally one path that shines brighter than all the others. This is the obvious path. Or is it?

We will only know if we are on the right path once we have cleared our minds of everything else except for the path that lays ahead, and are certain there is no other way forward.


Once we know the right path, there is no sense in wasting time and procrastinating about the choice we are about to make.

Take that step into the right direction, your heart and mind will thank you forever.

Renée Geyer – Heading in the right direction

A Roll Of The Dice

We sometimes look around at what we have in our lives and wonder if that’s the best we will ever have. Or are we just getting by and are happy where we are and how we feel. Do we need to push ourselves further? Is this a question we ask ourselves on a regular basis?

Everyone has different thoughts on what they want in life and where they should be at a certain time in their lives. From our teenage years and all the way through to retirement. No matter what our age, we wonder if we are track.

Some people think they should have a better career or be married with kids at a certain stage of their lives, but nothing is set in concrete and changes can happen in the blink of an eye.

Some changes can be seen coming from a distance, and they are the ones we can plan for. On the other hand, there are some changes we don’t see coming and are blindsided by them at the very last moment.

Whatever the situation is, you can always want something more, but you must be prepared to do something about it, and not sit around waiting for it to happen or for someone else to kickstart it for you.

Some changes may impact your life more than you want them to, but without going through the process, you will never know what it really is like on the other side of the fence, and if that’s the change that you have been searching for.

Take a chance and roll the dice. It may be the future you’re really looking for, and it may be waiting for you, to make you complete. 

Bruce Springsteen – Roll of the dice 

My First Bike – Childhood Memories

There are so many childhood memories that involve bikes and cycling, and they always manage to put a smile on my dial when I think back to those days of freedom, and yes, some stupidity. Being young and stupid has advantages, now, I really don’t have an excuse, but I still manage to pull of some not so smart moves on the bike.

My first childhood memory of a bike of any type was the one I owned when I was 4 years old. It was sent over from Italy for my birthday, and had to be assembled by my father and an uncle. I’m sure this wasn’t the easiest of tasks, but at least the instructions would have been in Italian, and not written by the people who write install manuals for IKEA.

It was bright red, had a set of trainer wheels, which only stayed on for a very short time, a few weeks was all I needed before I was on two wheels. There were colourful ribbons streaming out from both the hand grips, and both the wheels had bright reflectors attached to the spokes.

It seemed as if I had found my passion in sports at a very young age. Even though I never raced for a team, I eventually participated in a number of long distance events for charity. For me, in the end, that small bike with trainer wheels was life changing, and in more ways that I could ever imagine.

My recollections of that bike in the first few days, are still clear in my mind, I rode up and down the sideway of our property in the burbs. Up and down in a straight line, and when I reached the end of the sideway, I would get off the bike, turn it around, get back on and pedal back down to the start I did this over and over until I got the hang of turning around in the tight space at both ends.

Once I had mastered the straight line riding, my father added a set of obstacles along the sideway for me to navigate around. This took me more time than I would have thought. But then, I was a four year old child.

Without the training wheels, I was able to zip around the obstacles in a few short weeks. Much to my parents delight. I now had a way of keeping myself amused for hours on end and on my own. No need for daytime TV.

I was eventually allowed to go out onto the streets and down the road to visit my aunt, who lived no more than 15 houses down the street. It was still an adventure, no matter the distance.

The bike gave me something I didn’t have much of; freedom. It allowed me to go places further than the wheels allowed. It set off my imagination and transported me to any destination my mind permitted.

I hung onto that bike for  number of years until I had well and truly grown out of it, and it wasn’t long before I had a bigger bike. One that was purchased from a local shop just down the road. And with that bike, the real adventures began with my friends in the street. But those are stories for another time.

Some memories stay with us until the day we die, for one reason or another. Some are good, and some are bad. We need to treasure the memories that continue to make us smile as the days go by. Because in the end, all we will have are memories.

 

The Past Does Not Dictate Our Future

No matter what we do in our lives, we will always have a past. Our past may at times come back and haunt us for the things we did when we were young and foolish.

Other times our past lingers in our thoughts and weighs heavily on our minds. The mistakes we made are exactly that. Mistakes.

We need to forgive ourselves as we are only human and we are here to learn from our mistakes. And that is something we need to do a lot better. But we are slowly learning that we can forgive ourselves.

We are born to make mistakes. To err is human, to really screw things up requires a computer.

It takes longer for us to forgive ourselves than it does for others to forgive us for our blunder. We are much harder on ourselves than our friends and loved ones are.

No matter what we think of ourselves, others see us in a different light, they see all our flaws, but they also see the things that shine bright in us, the things we are unable to see, or don’t want to see. Or are to scared to see.

The past does not dictate out future. We are the only ones who can shape our lives after our mistakes. We can’t turn back time, so let’s live with the future. 

Take me back

I tend to spend a few hours at a time on the bike and manage to listen to a lot of music. Albeit that most of the tracks are from the 80s, but they keep me singing along and keep a smile on my dial. The tracks tend to help me grind out the kms and keep the last of my sanity intact. Most of the tracks I listen to take me back to the days when songs had more meaning and not every second word was an obscenity.

So when ‘Take Me Back’ by Noiseworks blasted its way through my headphones, it made think of the words Jon Stevens penned and what they really meant.

Don’t take friends, family or lovers you have for granted, you may lose them forever in the blink of an eye and will never have the opportunity to tell them what you want, or truly feel.

Live for the moment, be spontaneous with them, be with them and enjoy their good times, console them in their bad times. Talk to them and tell them how you feel, because tomorrow may be too late.

Sometimes tomorrow never comes.

‘I watched you wave goodbye as you drove away

I didn’t know that it would be your last time with me

You said – life ain’t worth living if nobody cared

You said it all the time’

Talk and listen. Make the most of every second you’re with the ones who matter the most.