Little White Lies

No matter who we are, there is no doubt we have told a little white lie or two, or perhaps a few more. Some of them have been to not get busted after doing something wrong, while others may have been not to hurt other people’s feelings. Either way, we have been able to justify those lies to ourselves. Right or wrong.

The thing about the little white lies is that they eventually catch up and end up biting you on the arse. Sometimes leaving deep fang marks.

No matter what we think at the time, in the end the truth is the best way forward, even if there is some pain and heartache for the person who would have been lied to.

Then there is the fact of living in the lie, losing sleep and wanting it to end. It goes round in a neverending loop, getting deeeper and deeper with what seems no way out.

Even if we think we are doing the right thing and continue the lie so not to hurt someone who is close to us, it is better to tell the truth. There is a very good chance they will understand and life can go on.

If the lie cuts deep, the end result may not be what you really want, but its for the best for all involved and may be what we need to move forward with our lives.

Is it truly easier to ask for forgiveness than it is to ask for permission?

I’m only human. Flesh and blood

No matter the color of our skin, we are all the same. We are all flesh and blood, skin and bones, muscle and tissue. So in reality, this means we are all prone to the same injuries and illnesses. And is saying that, we are all going to die at some point.

So it doesn’t matter whether we are black or white, or any shade in between, there is good and bad in everyone of us, and the hope that good outshines the bad is something we all want. But in saying this, there are people out there that only want to cause harm and pain to others around them. Some intentional, and other pain, very unintentional. But pain nonetheless.

With knowing that the colour of our skin has no direct impact on what we do in our lives, we are all prone to screwing up and doing one thing that will weigh heavily on our minds. Sometimes for a short while after, or other times that screw-up will stay with us for the remainder of our living years, until we take our last breath. We all make mistakes as our mental programming is similar. None of us can claim to be perfect. No matter what we think of ourselves.

Now knowing we are all programmed in the same way and should be able to forgive others of their discretions. which we do at some point. We also know that the people around us screw up, and we normally manage to forgive them for what they have done. Sometimes the pain takes longer to fade, but it does. And in the end we can forgive. Even if the memory stays firmly lodged in the back of of minds.

So, if we can eventually forgive others for the things they do and say that cause us pain, why can’t we forgive ourselves for the things we do to others? The ones we somehow hurt can eventually forgive us, but we cant let go of what we have done and are unable to cut ourselves some slack and let the past be exactly that. The past.

But sometimes it’s easier said than done. We continue turning over our ‘bad’ deeds in our minds, and don’t let them fade into the deepest part of our memory banks. Not that we should ever forget our mistakes, but they should not control our lives from the moment the mistake was made, until the moment we die.

When we reach the point in our lives where we know we need to let go of a memory, what can we do? We can’t just erase the memory, like they do with memories in the movie Total Recall. If we don’t like the current memories we have, we simply can’t have another one implemented. As good as an idea as that sounds, it’s not going to happen. At least not in my lifetime.

So what do we do? We can ask for forgiveness, but that may have already been given. In the end, we are the only ones who can let go of the memories that are weighing us down. These memories are the ones that are possibly causing more stress, pain and bitterness to others than the actual ‘bad’ deed itself.

Kindness and understanding from the people around us will make a difference. It may take time, but time is all we have.

I’m only human. Flesh and blood

No matter the color of our skin, we are all the same. We are all flesh and blood, skin and bones, muscle and tissue. So in reality, this means we are all prone to the same injuries and illnesses. And is saying that, we are all going to die at some point.

So it doesn’t matter whether we are black or white, or any shade in between, there is good and bad in everyone of us, and the hope that good outshines the bad is something we all want. But in saying this, there are people out there that only want to cause harm and pain to others around them. Some intentional, and other pain, very unintentional. But pain nonetheless.

With knowing that the colour of our skin has no direct impact on what we do in our lives, we are all prone to screwing up and doing one thing that will weigh heavily on our minds. Sometimes for a short while after, or other times that screw-up will stay with us for the remainder of our living years, until we take our last breath. We all make mistakes as our mental programming is similar. None of us can claim to be perfect. No matter what we think of ourselves.

Now knowing we are all programmed in the same way and should be able to forgive others of their discretions. which we do at some point. We also know that the people around us screw up, and we normally manage to forgive them for what they have done. Sometimes the pain takes longer to fade, but it does. And in the end we can forgive. Even if the memory stays firmly lodged in the back of of minds.

So, if we can eventually forgive others for the things they do and say that cause us pain, why can’t we forgive ourselves for the things we do to others? The ones we somehow hurt can eventually forgive us, but we cant let go of what we have done and are unable to cut ourselves some slack and let the past be exactly that. The past.

But sometimes it’s easier said than done. We continue turning over our ‘bad’ deeds in our minds, and don’t let them fade into the deepest part of our memory banks. Not that we should ever forget our mistakes, but they should not control our lives from the moment the mistake was made, until the moment we die.

When we reach the point in our lives where we know we need to let go of a memory, what can we do? We can’t just erase the memory, like they do with memories in the movie Total Recall. If we don’t like the current memories we have, we simply can’t have another one implemented. As good as an idea as that sounds, it’s not going to happen. At least not in my lifetime.

So what do we do? We can ask for forgiveness, but that may have already been given. In the end, we are the only ones who can let go of the memories that are weighing us down. These memories are the ones that are possibly causing more stress, pain and bitterness to others than the actual ‘bad’ deed itself.

Kindness and understanding from the people around us will make a difference. It may take time, but time is all we have.

Our Responsibilities


When we wake up everyday, we don’t expect or anticipate to go out into the world and cause havoc and heartbreak to the ones close to our hearts. But there are times we do, and we do these wrong things on purpose.


Deep down we feel as if we are doing the right thing, in our minds there is no other option. We have looked at all possible avenues and nothing else shone through. That might actually the case, so we could let it slide, or continue with what we have planned.

We have convinced ourselves that what we are going to do will somehow make things better for us and others around us. Our minds are unable to see another path forward, so we forge ahead with the original plan.

Even while we are executing the very well thought out plan, there is no doubt in our minds it’s all good and the end result is what everyone will want. But what if we had asked for a second opinion before we plunged head first into the deep end.

Our blinkered view may have been exactly that. Narrow and short sighted. But that one thing we never thought about or even considered. Asking someone else if we were really heading down the right for path.

There is no harm in getting a second opinion, it may do more than just save some serious embarrassment, it may keep a very close friendship intact.

But in the end, we all make mistakes we may regret. That’s life.

Heart of Glass 

Sticks and stones may break my bones but words will never break me. So the saying goes.


Breaking a bone in your body is a very painful experience. It can take between 8-12 weeks to heal, depending on the bone and how badly it was broken. This is something I learnt the hard way.

But when your heart is broken, it’s more like the shattering of a fragile crystal decanter. Tiny slivers of your heart are strewn far and wide, and no matter how hard you search for those broken pieces, there will always be a tiny sliver missing.

It’s that missing sliver that will keep your heart from healing and getting back to its original condition. But in no way does that mean a broken heart can’t be healed.

Admittedly, it may take time, and the right person to administer the right potion to replace that missing sliver. More than the 12 weeks it takes for a bone to heal.

If your heart has been shattered, just know that time will eventually heal it. Be patient, as good things come to those who wait. And the wait is worthwhile.

It’s OK to fail sometimes

Perfection is one thing we all seek, even if we don’t admit it to others or to ourselves. We are born to achieve the best we can in the very short time we have on the third planet from the sun.

Then there are times that no matter how hard we try, we fail. And there is no shame in failing, we can’t be perfect. Even when we try for perfection, it’s just out of our grasp.

But then, even when we are striving for perfection, are we doing it for ourselves, or are we trying to please others in our lives?

When we are young we are out to please our parents. In sports, at school and in the way we live our lives. Always trying to make others happy, even though we tell ourselves we are doing for personal goals.

Later in life we are out to please a partner, keeping them happy, making them smile and giving them everything they could possibly want, or need.

This is where we fail. No matter how hard we try we will at some point lose our way, falter, stumble and fall.

This shouldn’t make a big difference in a strong relationship, but at times it does. And this is where we need to once again strive for what we consider perfection. 

Mistakes make us human 


With all the things we do in our lives, we are bound to make a mistake or two. Or, sometimes a lot more. We can normally let some of our mistakes slide by, while with some others, we need to fess up and take responsibility for what we’ve done.

It’s not always easy to own up to what we have done, but sometimes it’s easier in the long run to dig deep and confess. Rather than keeping it all bottled up and waiting for it to explode deep inside of us, and tearing us apart. 


One of the hardest things to do is to admit to a friend or a loved one you have made a mistake that can change everything you have. 

The longer it takes to admit it to yourself, and then to others you have screwed up, the harder it will be to get over it and continue making amends.

Take the plunge and own up to your mistakes. It will change your life, And hopefully for the best.

The Past Does Not Dictate Our Future

No matter what we do in our lives, we will always have a past. Our past may at times come back and haunt us for the things we did when we were young and foolish.

Other times our past lingers in our thoughts and weighs heavily on our minds. The mistakes we made are exactly that. Mistakes.

We need to forgive ourselves as we are only human and we are here to learn from our mistakes. And that is something we need to do a lot better. But we are slowly learning that we can forgive ourselves.

We are born to make mistakes. To err is human, to really screw things up requires a computer.

It takes longer for us to forgive ourselves than it does for others to forgive us for our blunder. We are much harder on ourselves than our friends and loved ones are.

No matter what we think of ourselves, others see us in a different light, they see all our flaws, but they also see the things that shine bright in us, the things we are unable to see, or don’t want to see. Or are to scared to see.

The past does not dictate out future. We are the only ones who can shape our lives after our mistakes. We can’t turn back time, so let’s live with the future.