Love

Want Versus Need

Posted on by fantomwriter

We all have things we need to live our lives in a comfortable way. A roof over our heads. A few healthy, and sometimes not so healthy meals and a place to work where we can do our job and have a laugh with a few mates throughout the day.

But what about things we want. I mean really want! The things money can buy and we know its more of a luxury than a necessity. And deep down we know we can truly get by without, but we want it.

No matter who we are, we all have a few items we think we need, but are more of a want than anything else. Want versus need is situation that crops up and we need to make a choice. And that choice is not always as simple as it seems.

Do we stop ourselves from going out and buying a certain item or do we go without, even if we have the cash to splash and we will be happier for the purchase.

I know from personal experience i have wanted items that i could do without, but went off for some retail therapy, and felt better for the experience.

Then there are things that no amount of money can buy. Love and romance can’t be bought over the counter at the local store. Sex can be bought, but not love. Money is important so we can get on with our lives, but on its own, it won’t make us truly happy.

We need to think about what really makes us happy. Sometimes possessions bring a smile to our faces. But love is what truly makes the heart flutter and skip a beat as well as make turning that frown upside down.

As the Beatles told us:

I don’t care too much for money
Money can’t buy me love.

TLC

Posted on by fantomwriter

With everything in our lives, we need to make sure it gets all the TLC it needs to continue to stand on its own two feet, or to keep growing as it should. This means we need to take care of all the things in our lives, human, animal or even structural.

As I visited a good friend not long ago, I looked out of his backyard and saw the house behind him in was in a state of complete disrepair. It had been neglected for many years was in desperate need of some TLC. In fact, it could do with a complete overhaul. A fresh lick of paint was not going to do much to the property. A lick of paint would have the very same effect as putting lipstick on a pig.

On the off chance someone decided to put in the effort and give the place the TLC it needed, there is a very good possibility it could be restored back to it’s original state, and perhaps continue to be what it was first built to be. A home sweet home. A place where a family belonged and shared many memories together.

Some TLC goes a long way, not just on run down properties. It can make a person who is down in the dumps look up and smile and see the world in a completely different light, knowing that a person they care for feels the same way about them, and are willing to put in the effort to get them back to a happy state of mind.

TLC can be as simple as an acknowledging smile, a tender touch or even a few kind words of encouragement. In today’s technology based society, a simple text message would suffice. It doesn’t have to be an earth shattering gesture, but one that will make a difference. A huge difference.

There are many ways to show some TLC, spoken or unspoken. But in the end, that TLC needs to come from the heart, and it’s not just a gesture of show. If it’s just for show, it means diddly squat.

Take a chance on someone and give them some tender loving care, you may be surprised at what you receive in return.

What’s a hug?

Posted on by fantomwriter

The Oxford dictionary defines a hug as the following.

Squeeze (someone) tightly in one’s arms, typically to express affection.

But is that all a hug really is? There is so much more to a hug than just squeezing a person who is close to you. It means you not only care for them when they are in a time of need, but because they mean something more to you than just another way of transferring some body heat. Although, this can normally be the case in the long and cold winter months.

A hug is very much a two way street. Well, a real hug is. There are some hugs that are meant to be for show only. These ones are normally, quick and they feel like a cheap imitation, just like a fake Ming Dynasty vase. They look great from an outsiders point of view, but the real truth can be seen upon closer inspection. They are just plain fakes.

So what does a fake hug look or even feel like? That’s hard to define, but a fake hug resembles a ‘cheek air kiss’. Close to a kiss, but not really hitting the mark. A fake hug can be spotted when only one person is really hugging and the other one is just following suit for appearance sake.

A real hug is something that is not forced, its given freely, anytime and anywhere. In the kitchen, on the front doorstep, and even in a lift in an office building. They are real hugs and are meant for much more than body heat. They express gratitude, understanding and love.

Sometimes an unexpected hug is one of the best things you can receive. And in many cases, giving one will bring warmth and happiness to someone who needs that very personal ‘pick me up’.

Hugs cost nothing to give except for a few moments of your time. And that time is well worth the effort for all parties involved.

Give a few hugs and make someone’s day. It’s so easy and there is always a benefit when giving one. Because there is a very good chance it will be returned tenfold.

It’s not giving up when you know you have lost

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The saying goes ‘When the going gets tough, the tough get going’. But what happens when you know what you’re after is so far out of reach, that not even a miracle will get you over the line for a win.

What does happens is you understand that not everything is able to be achieved and you need to make the hard call of whether you continue moving forward in a direction where failure is the only outcome.

And while you continue to forge forward, thinking you can win, what are you really achieving? More pain, heartache and unforgettable suffering?

Is it time to cut your losses and accept that this is the one you are going to lose?

At the end of the day, some you win, some you don’t. So I’m glad that I’m here with friends I know, who will always have a smile for me.

Regrets

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As I sat down and had a coffee with my parents recently, my Mother said something I would have never expected to hear from her.

She started talking about the things she would have liked to have done when she and my Dad were younger.

Going back to Italy was one thing she would have liked to have done more often, but there was always something stopping her from getting on a plane and visiting her family. They didn’t make the time and put in the effort that was needed to head back home.

It seems we all have regrets of sorts. Sometimes it’s what we have done or said, and then there are times when we wished we hadn’t done or expressed our feelings to the ones closest to us in our lives.


But no matter which situation we have gone through, we will always have some regrets. There is no magic pill to help us out with our regrets, we need to deal with them head on.

If it’s something we have said, we can always apologise. And if it’s something we have done and have hurt others, do something for them that shows you do care and try to move forward.

Then there are the regrets that linger over us like a dark cloud. They are the ones we need to work on the most.

But as we get older we learn and grow, but that doesn’t mean we have to regret what we did before we learned how to do things differently. If we didn’t go through those experiences, we might not have grown into the strong and knowledgeable people we are today.

Without regrets it may mean we may not be in the place we are now. For better or worse.

Regrets

Posted on by fantomwriter

As I sat down and had a coffee with my parents recently, my Mother said something I would have never expected to hear from her.

She started talking about the things she would have liked to have done when she and my Dad were younger.

Going back to Italy was one thing she would have liked to have done more often, but there was always something stopping her from getting on a plane and visiting her family. They didn’t make the time and put in the effort that was needed to head back home.

It seems we all have regrets of sorts. Sometimes it’s what we have done or said, and then there are times when we wished we hadn’t done or expressed our feelings to the ones closest to us in our lives.

But no matter which situation we have gone through, we will always have some regrets. There is no magic pill to help us out with our regrets, we need to deal with them head on.

If it’s something we have said, we can always apologise. And if it’s something we have done and have hurt others, do something for them that shows you do care and try to move forward.

Then there are the regrets that linger over us like a dark cloud. They are the ones we need to work on the most.

But as we get older we learn and grow, but that doesn’t mean we have to regret what we did before we learned how to do things differently. If we didn’t go through those experiences, we might not have grown into the strong and knowledgeable people we are today.

Without regrets it may mean we may not be in the place we are now. For better or worse.

Christmas, family and friends

Posted on by fantomwriter

With Christmas barreling towards us faster than a pack of reindeers attached to a sled carrying a big bloke in a red suit, it’s a time of the year when we should be at our happiest.


Family, food and friends are only a small part of what the Christmas spirit has to offer. It’s a time of the year when we see children smile more often and adults become a little more relaxed as the year winds down.


So If this time of the year is meant to bring us nothing but joy and happiness, why is it that I see people on the train with a frown on their faces and what looks to be the problems of the world on their shoulders.



It doesn’t matter how hard we try, we all get a but down during the Christmas season.


Family, work or just the strain of another long and frustrating year. These are the things you want to leave behind and make a memory never to be seen again. Situations that may have dragged us into a dark place, are the ones we want to forget.


But if we sit back and take a good hard look at the year and our own lives, we should do nothing but smile, kick up our heels and celebrate life as we know it. It could have been a lot worse. Much worse.



There are millions of people around the world who are far less better off and they push through every day, sometimes not knowing what Christmas day is and what it truly means.


So with that in mind, take what you have around you, family, friends and loved ones and show them how much you appreciate their love and support.


You don’t need to buy an expensive gift or spoil them with treats. Show them how much the really mean by telling them. Say the words that mean the most.



A shot of whiskey mixed with a bigger shot of honesty will bring a smile to their lips and the year won’t seem nearly as bad as it may have been.



We are fortunate to be where we are and who we are with, so let’s show and tell.

Heart of Glass 

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Sticks and stones may break my bones but words will never break me. So the saying goes.


Breaking a bone in your body is a very painful experience. It can take between 8-12 weeks to heal, depending on the bone and how badly it was broken. This is something I learnt the hard way.

But when your heart is broken, it’s more like the shattering of a fragile crystal decanter. Tiny slivers of your heart are strewn far and wide, and no matter how hard you search for those broken pieces, there will always be a tiny sliver missing.

It’s that missing sliver that will keep your heart from healing and getting back to its original condition. But in no way does that mean a broken heart can’t be healed.

Admittedly, it may take time, and the right person to administer the right potion to replace that missing sliver. More than the 12 weeks it takes for a bone to heal.

If your heart has been shattered, just know that time will eventually heal it. Be patient, as good things come to those who wait. And the wait is worthwhile.

Live life and be happy

Posted on by fantomwriter

 

One_live_to_Live

We have but one life to live, and we must do everything in our power to ensure we are happy.  In some cases, no matter what the outcome is for those around us.

This is something that we should all think about, no matter what stage we are in our lives. Young, old, single or in a relationship. Our happiness starts, and ends with us. We don’t need to rely on anyone else in  our lives to bring that smile to our faces and make us walk with a pep in our step.

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No matter who we have around us in our lives, they are there for a reason, but is that reason to make us happy? They may be there to make us smile and share good times with, and if we are in a relationship, there is more than just a few laughs and smiles we want from our partners, it’s love, understanding  and friendship.

friendship and understnading

So when we start to feel we are on that e, we need to look in our own minds and hearts to get us back on track and get that smile back our dial. In the end, we are the only ones who are in complete control of our happiness, even when we have so much going on around us.

slide

We need to take control of what is bringing us down and keeping us from cracking a smile. If there is something that is holding us back from true happiness, we either need to make a change, or ditch the negativeness and get back on track.

The longer we are happier in our own skins, the longer we can continue to bring happiness to others. And that my friends, is what life’s all about. Sharing joy and happiness.

Sliding Doors

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We are all aware of the ‘sliding doors’ scenario. As one opportunity is missed, another one takes its place. Sometimes for better, and other times for the worse. But no matter what choices we make, we will end up where we were meant to be.

This was the case on the day of my cycling accident, it could have ended up much differently had I made other choices on my first 25 kms of the ride.

As I headed towards Safety Beach, I slipped in behind another cyclist who was moving a few kms quicker than my normal pace, but I decided i should try and keep up with him for as long as possible and increase my stamina.

Sitting in his slipstream for 5 or so kms, I thought to myself this could be one of my quicker rides of the year. But as we approached a street heading up towards Arthur’s Seat, he turned into the street and I decided to continue with my original plan and do the hill climb of Arthur’s Seat the next day. Had I followed him, it might have been an entirely different ride, and a possibly a very different outcome to my day.

So I continued on solo for a while before turning back and setting my sights on Point Nepean. 60 kms away with a light headwind and the sun shining in the blue sky. A perfect day for a ride I kept telling myself.


As I looked ahead, I saw the set of lights change to amber, and instead of braking hard, I cruised through and continued on my merry way without a problem.

Looking back at the day, either one of those sliding door moments would have made a huge difference to my unhappy ending. Or would they have made no difference at all?

Would I have been injured on another part of my ride that day? Coming back down Arthur’s Seat at a breakneck speed. Or would have I gotten away without an injury? It’s hard to know which would have been the case, but what happened on that day, happened for a reason.

A reason I’m still unsure about, but one that didn’t leave me lying dead on the side of the road that morning. And for that I’m still very thankful. Even though it’s been a long and tough journey to recovery, I am hoping it will worthwhile in the long run, not just for me, but for my family and friends.

In the end, we will be where we are meant to be, no matter the twists, turns and tumbles we take.

Enjoy the journey with friends, family and loved ones. As the destination has been set. Life is too short for regrets.