Friendship

Work Mates

Posted on by fantomwriter

With another long lockdown ahead, its a good time to reflect on the small things that made our work days special when we were allowed to roam the streets, and the offices in which we worked.


A coffee break wasn’t just about getting another hit of caffune to get us through the next part of the day. It gave us the opportunity to kick back and not talk shop with work mates for a short time.


And then there was the lunchbreak. No matter what was happening, we would drop tools and head to level 3 and congregate into the Booth. There was always a regular group from various teams who would cram into the booth and eat whatever food they brought with them and talk shit.

Nothing was off limits in the booth. No one would get offended, and at the end of the break, we would all head back to our desks and return to the true professionals we were. If HR ever heard our conversations, I’m sure there would have been some major issues.


With our bellies full and all feeling alot less stressed due to the friends who made the lunch hour not just a time to eat, but a time to reinforce friendships that would last longer than our time with the company.In many cases, its not the work we do or the company we work for that makes us want to return day after day and week after week.

The people we meet and work with are the ones who not only assist in our jobs, but tbey make the days much more enjoyable, and the work gets completed by happy employees. Just because you leave a company and you had friendships there, don’t let leaving be the reason you stop chatting and enjoying each other’s company.

Stay connected and keep the friendships. We all need friends in our lives.

Be your own champion

Posted on by fantomwriter

While watching a documentary on the band Queen, they spoke about the songs, “We will rock you” and “We are the champions”. Both songs are now used at the end of major sporting events. There will only be one champion. One winner.

But in life, this is not always the case. Being number 1 is not something we all strive for in our lives. It’s not that we want to be at the bottom of the barrel, but we don’t feel the need to prove ourselves to anyone else.

The only person we need to better is ourselves. In sports, or at work, I do my best and that’s what gets me out of bed every morning. On the bike I chase down my PBs and strive to break one every time I get on the track. At work, it’s the same, I strive to do better than I did the day before. Sometimes easier said than done.

The only way to be a winner in life is to be honest with oneself. If we can do this on a daily basis we will continue to move in the right direction. It’s the moment we begin to lie to ourselves that everything is OK, then we head down the rabbit hole and never find our way out.

If we want to be a champion, we need to look deep into our own lives and not try to work out anyone else’s life. Our own life is complicated enough without delving into another’s life.

It’s high time to delve into what we really want, and what will make us a champion of our own life. Don’t wait another moment as tomorrow may never come.

Good to be alive

Posted on by fantomwriter

Perhaps it’s the cold morning air, or the way the wind rushes past my partially frozen face that makes me feel so alive. Or it could be the fact my heart is racing due to the pedal power involved in heading up the very first hill before i hit the dirt trail, where the track levels out and i can cruise along for a few hours at a reasonable pace without the interruptions of passing cars, trucks and busses.

It really doesn’t matter what it is that’s making me feel so alive. It’s the mere fact I am alive, and am still able to get on the bike and head out to destinations unknown. And if not a destination unknown, a very familiar track, like an old friend, waiting with open arms to take me back. No questions asked.

And that’s what we all need in our lives, that friend that will welcome us back with a tight hug and a warm smile. No matter how many miles have passed, No questions asked, as no answer is needed. Just knowing that all is good in the world, at least for that moment in time when sharing a coffee, and a laugh.

I would hate to try and live life without someone close to share a laugh, or to unload my thoughts, fears and even my tears with. Oh, and for me, life without coffee would make the world a much harder place to live, but not impossible. There is always a cuppa tea.

Alone

Posted on by fantomwriter

Most people will tell you they are never alone and always have someone close by or around them in their lives. They think they are not alone. But in reality they are and can’t, or won’t admit it to themselves that at times they are truly alone.

Just because we are in a crowded room, with a group of workmates in the office, on the road with a group of MAMIL, or even at home with family. We can still be very alone. Lost in our own world where we know it’s safe, and a place where we can retreat to in a time of despair, sorrow, anger or even pain.

So where is that special ‘alone’ space we crawl back into? It’s the place we head back to when it all becomes too much and it seems as if no one really gives a fuck. Even if they do, we don’t seem to understand.

That so called ‘alone’ space I crawl back into is one where I not only feel safe. But also alone. Very alone! And letting others into would be similar to lowering the drawbridge and allowing friends, and possibly foes into my private world.

A world where pain and anger can be dealt with in a way in which only I know how to deal with. And if that pain, anger and suffering somehow can’t be dealt with, there is always my road bike and a stretch of road that never seems to end.

So no matter who we are, we all tend to deal with the curve balls life throws at us from time to time. But when we are continually bombarded with one curve ball after another, it gets harder to keep going. And even our own private world begins to crumble before our very eyes.

In these times we need to reach out for help. And knowing very well this is easier said than done, it can he done so we can continue our life journey without the black dog breathing down our necks.

What’s a hug?

Posted on by fantomwriter

The Oxford dictionary defines a hug as the following.

Squeeze (someone) tightly in one’s arms, typically to express affection.

But is that all a hug really is? There is so much more to a hug than just squeezing a person who is close to you. It means you not only care for them when they are in a time of need, but because they mean something more to you than just another way of transferring some body heat. Although, this can normally be the case in the long and cold winter months.

A hug is very much a two way street. Well, a real hug is. There are some hugs that are meant to be for show only. These ones are normally, quick and they feel like a cheap imitation, just like a fake Ming Dynasty vase. They look great from an outsiders point of view, but the real truth can be seen upon closer inspection. They are just plain fakes.

So what does a fake hug look or even feel like? That’s hard to define, but a fake hug resembles a ‘cheek air kiss’. Close to a kiss, but not really hitting the mark. A fake hug can be spotted when only one person is really hugging and the other one is just following suit for appearance sake.

A real hug is something that is not forced, its given freely, anytime and anywhere. In the kitchen, on the front doorstep, and even in a lift in an office building. They are real hugs and are meant for much more than body heat. They express gratitude, understanding and love.

Sometimes an unexpected hug is one of the best things you can receive. And in many cases, giving one will bring warmth and happiness to someone who needs that very personal ‘pick me up’.

Hugs cost nothing to give except for a few moments of your time. And that time is well worth the effort for all parties involved.

Give a few hugs and make someone’s day. It’s so easy and there is always a benefit when giving one. Because there is a very good chance it will be returned tenfold.

Is suicide the only way out?

Posted on by fantomwriter

With a number of celebrities taking their own lives recently, I have been left to wonder if that is the only way to resolve life issues. The ending of their life may be the end of their own journey and problems. but what about the remaining journeys of the family and friends who are left to grieve and pick up the pieces.

Loved ones will always be left to grieve for the loss, and will continue to wonder if they had missed the signs or if there was something they could, or should have done to have avoided the loss of a beautiful life.

Without doubt, there will always be a time of darkness and depression in our lives, it’s only natural. We can’t cruise though our entire lives without hitting a few lows. But is suicide the only way out?

Looking around at the people who are suffering and are still with us, it shows there is another option rather than ending it all. There is pain and suffering in their everyday lives. From the moment they wake up, until they go to sleep. There is constant pain. Never ending pain.

It’s a sad thing to know many people are in a place where all they can see is darkness in their lives with no happy future and no way out. Their options seem very limited, and they think death is their best friend. But is it? The fight with the black dog can be a temporary part of life. Death is forever.

In a person’s mind, it may not be the best way to resolve the problem, but in that state, they can’t see any other way forward.

The next week, the next month, the next year might be bad. But none of us know when the tide will turn. And yes, looking that far into the future is impossible, for anyone. Let alone for a person who is depressed.

Family and friends are normally so close that they are unable to see what is really going on under the covers. They may miss the early warning signs and after that, life is like normality to them.

So in many cases, family and friends never get to shine the light and help because they never realize there is a problem until it’s too late. And after it’s done. they torture themselves because they never saw it coming and have no idea why it happened.

Those who feel all hope is gone are very good at hiding their true state of mind from people around them, and those who are closest are often blindsided by the situation. Work colleagues are often in a better position to see the warning signs as they are not as close. Thats why its very important to ask “are you ok”.

In the end all we can do is to be there, look out for the warning signs and help keep the black dog at bay.

If you or a friend feel the need to talk to someone, the following links can help.

www.beyondblue.org.au

www.lifeline.org.au

The Simple Things

Posted on by fantomwriter

The more I look at life and all it has to offer, it becomes very obvious that the simple things are the ones that make us the happiest

From the delights of sharing a simple meal with friends all the way through to sitting on the beach with a loved one and watching the sun set over the calm waters. Watching the sunrise is just as spectacular, but there is the fact you do need to be out of bed rather early.

We are all very different, and what makes us happy is a very personal thing. Dining at a fancy restaurant, staying in bed all day and bumming around in pjs for the rest of the day, or getting up at the crack of dawn and cycling about until the legs scream for rest. It’s these very simple things that make life worth living.

And then there is the one other thing that makes us truly happy? To hear words of love and affection from the people who are closest to us.

‘I love you’ are the three little words that make life special to all of us, no matter how hardened we think we are. They make us smile, even if that smile is an internal one.

Tell someone you love them today, as tomorrow is never promised. And what if you don’t love them? It’s best they know that as well.

Lost in your own little world

Posted on by fantomwriter

As I sat on the morning train heading to work, I had a gentleman sit in front of me who had boarded at the same station. As the train continued on towards the city, a few stations further down, the seat next to the gentleman was taken up by a man of a similar age.

ey both had their heads down and were looking at their phones for the next 20 or so minutes. It was then that one of them looked up and to the side and realised he was sitting next to an old mate. The surprise in their voices was genuine and they chatted happily for the remainder of the trip into work.

They didn’t see one another because they were so wrapped up in their own little world, a space where no one is allowed to enter for a certain period of time, and no matter what goes on around them, they are lost in that world.

Being lost in your own world can be a good thing at times, but so many people become entrenched in their little world, and forget to live and interact with others around them in the real world.

The world, or space we go to when we want solitude doesn’t have to be a locked down room, it can be a place in the mind where we find peace and comfort. But, we can’t stay in that world forever, we need to venture out and live life in the real world, communicate with friends, family and lovers.

So when we do come out of our own world we need to make the time and effort to communicate with others around us, at home and at work, or in some rare cases, on the train. And when I say communicate, I do mean face to face. Texting, Facebook, and all the other variants of technology should be placed aside and a real conversation should take place.


Let’s not live and breathe all of our time in our own world, there is so much to see, do, learn and listen to once we step out and really communicate. Don’t be the one to let human communication become extinct.

Darkness

Posted on by fantomwriter

When the sun finally sets in the horizon, we are eventually shrouded in darkness, but there are times in our lives we can also be in the dark when the sun shines and it’s the middle of the day. There is no need for the moon to be out for us to feel as if we are in the dark, or in a dark place.

There will always be a time when we feel as if the walls around us are closing in and the light that’s shining bright is quickly fading, turning into darkness. It is in this situation, we feel as if there is nothing we can do, or no one we can turn to. But thats so very untrue.

There is always a friend close at hand who will drop what they have and stop by for a chat. Even a quick call to a mate is better than sitting in a room as the walls close in and darkness fills every crevice of your mind.

Even though we think we are in full control of our minds most of the time, we all do have a momentary lapse of reason. This may be for an hour, a day, or even a week. But this doesn’t mean we will never be back in control of how we feel and how we see ourselves.

Whilst we are in that dark space, our outlook on life is somewhat skewed and things tend to seem worse than they really are. But once we rise up and see the day of light, our perception changes in an instant.

The hardest part of falling into the darkness is not knowing how long the dark shroud will cloak us, and our minds. Time and friendship is what will help us see the light, and both are freely available to all of us, we just need to look around to see we are truly wanted and loved.

Never give up hope when darkness clouds you.

Christmas, family and friends

Posted on by fantomwriter

With Christmas barreling towards us faster than a pack of reindeers attached to a sled carrying a big bloke in a red suit, it’s a time of the year when we should be at our happiest.


Family, food and friends are only a small part of what the Christmas spirit has to offer. It’s a time of the year when we see children smile more often and adults become a little more relaxed as the year winds down.


So If this time of the year is meant to bring us nothing but joy and happiness, why is it that I see people on the train with a frown on their faces and what looks to be the problems of the world on their shoulders.



It doesn’t matter how hard we try, we all get a but down during the Christmas season.


Family, work or just the strain of another long and frustrating year. These are the things you want to leave behind and make a memory never to be seen again. Situations that may have dragged us into a dark place, are the ones we want to forget.


But if we sit back and take a good hard look at the year and our own lives, we should do nothing but smile, kick up our heels and celebrate life as we know it. It could have been a lot worse. Much worse.



There are millions of people around the world who are far less better off and they push through every day, sometimes not knowing what Christmas day is and what it truly means.


So with that in mind, take what you have around you, family, friends and loved ones and show them how much you appreciate their love and support.


You don’t need to buy an expensive gift or spoil them with treats. Show them how much the really mean by telling them. Say the words that mean the most.



A shot of whiskey mixed with a bigger shot of honesty will bring a smile to their lips and the year won’t seem nearly as bad as it may have been.



We are fortunate to be where we are and who we are with, so let’s show and tell.